


Winter is here

by theklynnsmith



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Ancient History, Denial of Feelings, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Family History, Feelings, Jealousy, Love Triangles, Marriage Proposal, Romance, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-09-18 23:16:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 45,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9407210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theklynnsmith/pseuds/theklynnsmith
Summary: Winter is here. Time is a luxury she cannot afford. Sansa knows what needs to be done. But she also knows that this is the last chance for some happiness. Her next choice will decide her people’s fate. Her next two choices will decide how many choices she has in the future. Family, duty, honor are the Tully words her mother’s house. Winters is coming are the Starks house words her father’s houses. She will protect what is left of her family. She will fulfill her duty that is expected for the good of the kingdom. She will honor the man she marries who will help protect her family and her people in the winter. For winter is here.





	1. Gather all of your strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe  
> 7 days after the Battle of the Bastards - early morning

Sansa knows that winter here and time is running out. We are fighting an army of the undead on one side and on the other side, we are fighting lions who are led by an enraged lioness. With winter here are supplies will be limited. We will need routes to transport supplies to survive this harsh winter. But with the lions guarding the path our routes are limited. If were to survive both armies we need a plan. For soon we may be fighting an army with dragons. 

Sansa knew what had to be done, but that doesn’t make it any easier. She was doing this for her kingdom, for her people, for the future but what was most important it was for herself. This will be one of her last a chances she will have control for her to be happy, for her to be loved, for her to be just her. She was tired of being someone salvation, tired of being someone’s redemption, someone replacement and lastly, she was tired of being a pawn.

Before she even approached John this proposal she had some sort of backup plans. She knows going behind Jon’s back keeping secrets is not what they promised to one another. But what she learned in the Red Keep is you say nothing until you have a plan with two backup plans and along with an escape plan. What she had were not really plans but more of choices that were available to her. 

As she walked towards Jon’s solar each step became heavier than the last. She hopes that Jon doesn’t reject her first proposal. This would be her best chance at happiness, her best chance to be safe. She will not have to leave Winterfell and her people will be relatively safe. Jon would be there to protect her and she would protect Jon’s heart, his mind from being multiplied and help take the weight of the world on his shoulders.

 

He would most likely to listen to her about the kingdom. She would have a voice in how their kingdom would run. The politics could be a nightmare but after spending so much time in Kingslanding she was up for the fight. Littlefinger had taught her well. If Jon had accepted her proposal she would start working on plans for each house. She will help make Jon political stronger. 

But if Jon had rejected her proposal she was ready. She knew she would guard her heart. Stop her pride from doing what is right and move to the next plan.

Her first backup plan was a second highest rate for happiness but at the expense of her people welfare and maybe Jon’s happiness. Jon would have to marry a woman from a noble house. They might grow to love one another. She would marry from a lesser house that was loyal to the Starks in their time of need. They would have not real power for the ones who were loyal were from smaller houses. 

She knew they would allow her to visit her home of Winterfell every year if they had to leave Winterfell. As much as she wishes this would happen she knew that was the least likely one to happen out of all the plans and choices. Even more than her first proposal. She was the last highborn daughter of Ned Stark and we were fighting in the war with winter here. Her marriage would form an alliance with a powerful home to ensure their survival in this winter. 

Her second backup plan her people would be safe and they would have an abundant amount of supplies during the long winter. Jon would be King of all seven Kingdoms. He would marry the Dragon Queen. However, she would have to stay in Winterfell but it would feel like a cage. The man she would marry would only do so for power. The Dragon Queen would’ve to have made a few negotiations with noble men who would seek out her hand. She couldn’t marry them all so she would have them marry a woman from a noble house. The Dragon Queen might make her marry someone to keep the peace or show she has power over the north. She had no clue what the Dragon Queen would do. This plans as the most room for errors and the biggest risk.

Her third plan and the one that would most likely to happen was for her to marry into another noble house. It would be likely she would have to leave the Winterfell. Even if she marries someone from the north it will be the southerner most part. She would leave her home of Winterfell and more than likely only seen Jon every 7 years if she was lucky. Her husband would most likely not take her advice about her new house.

Norther men are stuck in their ways. He would never mistreat her like Joffrey or Ramsay. She might even learn to love her husband. She would have no voice in her new cage. However John would have the highest chance of marrying for love and to stay in Winterfell unlike marrying the Dragon Queen. For Sansa marriage would help give him more options instead of marrying for political reasons only. Her people would be better off. 

The unthinkable option had the greatest success rate for people. She would marry a depraved man who only craves power. He would never see her for her. He would only see her mother and the power Sansa came with. Jon would most likely die a few months after their marriage. But if he was to live it would make no different for she would never speak to Jon again. Her husband would keep her looked away and he would plot to kill John later. If this was the only choice then her only hope was to kill her husband before he could kill John. Even if she kills him she might start the war in the north and her action killing Jon. 

Sansa stop at the door. For the first time in a long time, she terrified. She knows no matter what happens when she leaves the room things will never be the same. She takes a deep breath before knocking.


	2. We need a strategy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember Sansa you are steel. Your skin has turned from porcelain to ivory, to steel. You need Jon to see things your way.
> 
> Timeframe  
> 10 days after the Battle of the Bastards - early morning

Ser Davos answers the door. He lowered his head to her before speaking “Good evening my lady. His grace is just finishing up with Tormund” 

 

Jon groaned from his desk “Davos I told you to stop saying that. I am Jon not his grace.” He stood as soon as he saw Sansa. “Good afternoon Lady Sansa.”

 

Davos look concern to Jon “You are my King. It's only right I when I address you I call you his grace.”

 

Sansa smiled at Davos before turning to Jon “Ser Davos I wish to speak to his grace alone.”

 

Tormund tilted his head looking a Jon “I know that look Snow. You have fucked up”

 

Davos raised his voice slightly “He is King Jon Stark. You will speak to his grace with respect” 

 

Tormund let out a laugh “He said he is Jon not his grace. It just a title you Southern gave him. Does that mean should we kneel everytime he farts?”

 

Davos had a very confused look on his face “Why would even say that? Why would you think that?”

 

Tormund laughed “The first time I meet Snow he called me his grace” Davos was will very uncomfortable calling King Jon Stark Snow. Before he could answer Jon spoke. 

 

Jon had a rare smile on his face and in a very mocking tone said “Aye I did I had mistaken him for the King-Beyond-the-Wall. I remembered what you said. It was Your grace? Did you hear that? From now on, you'd better kneel every time I fart”

 

“If you want to call me his grace for old times you can Jon. Or I could just fart then you can kneel nothing too formal.” Jon let out a chuckle as Davos took a step toward Sansa as if to shield her from a fart. Sansa tried her best not to giggle behind Ser Davos. “But I think we should leave. The lady wishes to speak to him.” Tormund slapped Jon on the shoulder and starts to talk to the door “so we better leave them Davos. Don't look too mad Jon. You are still the seconds prettiest after Lady Sansa. Well maybe third.” Tormund let out a belly laugh. 

 

Jon had an irritated look on his face “Tormund you are only saying that to make sure you are in Sansa good graces”

 

Tormund turned around and had a wicked smile on his face “What would Brienne say if upset her lady.” 

 

Sansa gave him an angelic smile as he started to walk past her and Davos “Brienne is with Podrick in the stables last I checked. Then they normal go to the courtyard to practice their skills with the sword.” With that Tormund grunted rushing out the door. Jon laughed for Tormund’s grout sounded more like a growling. 

 

Davos smiled and gave a small bow “I will take my leave my grace. My lady.” 

 

As the two men left Sansa smiled brighter “Your grace” She couldn’t help but tease Jon just a little.

 

Jon scowled “Sansa you’re just as bad as Davos. Call me Jon. If it makes you feel better you can still call me Jon Snow” 

 

Sansa widened her eyes and smiled so brightly to him before speaking “I told you that you are a Stark to me. I will never call you Snow ever again. Nor should anyone else in the Seven Kingdom.”

 

Jon chuckled to himself. He is still not used to Sansa’s kindness. Even though she was never truly mean to him in their childhood. She acted as if he didn’t exist but that was more due to her mother the late Catelyn Stark. She wanted her children to have little contact with Jon. Most of her children listen to their father about Jon and treated him like a brother. Sansa always wanted to be a proper lady and always listen to her mother. Sansa had apology and asked forgiveness from Jon for about being a brat to him in their childhood at Castle Black. Jon told her told her there was nothing to forgive but she wouldn’t take no for an answer. When he said he forgave her it looked as if a large weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. 

 

Sansa said in a very serious tone “Jon I have many important things to discuss with you and I want you to promise you will listen to the end.” 

 

Jon sat up straight. He looked into her Tully eyes, even though they were a sky blue they were filled with the fire of determination. “I give you my word I will listen until the end.”

 

Sansa tone got more serious “I wish to talk about my future marriage”

 

Jon was upset with Sansa words “We just got our home back and your first thought is I need to get married. I thought you were different than when we were kids.”

 

Sansa try not to look hurt by his words but she could see on Jon face that it did. “Sansa…. I…”

 

Remember Sansa you are steel. Your skin has turned from porcelain to ivory, to steel. Be strong. Do not sway. “I’m the first highborn daughter of Lord Eddard Stark and Lady Catelyn Stark. And we are fighting in the war with winter here. My marriage will ensure our survival in this winter and the undead.”

 

Jon looked as if he was dead. He was so pale. All of the blood as left his face. As far as they know she is the last child of Lord Eddard Stark and Lady Catelyn Stark. They knew that Rob and Rickon were dead. They have no clue if Arya or Bran were alive and if they were they had to clue where to look. 

 

Sansa walked over the table and poured herself a cup of sweet red wine. She drank half of the cup in one gulp. When she was finished she turned to Jon and took a deep breath “I need to think about the future. My mother was a Tully. I know that Rob and Rickon are dead. I have no clue when Arya or Bran are in this world. I don’t even know if they are alive. The closest family member on my mother’s side is one first cousin Robin and a 4th cousin once removed.” She took another sip of the wine.

 

“I need to think not just about house Stark but also house Tully.” She looked a Jon to see if the color had returned to his face. He was looking at the table she waited until he looked her in the eyes before continuing.

 

“My mother is dead. My aunt Lysa is dead. My grandparents Hoster Tully and Minisa Tully are dead. My great uncle Brynden "The Blackfish" Tully who was never married or had any highborn children has passed. My uncle Edmure Tully is the head of House Tully the Lord of Riverrun and Lord Paramount of the Riverlands. But he was taken as a prisoner and remains a hostage after his wedding The Red Wedding. The night that Rob and my mother died. I doubt he had a chance to congregate his marriage. So I doubt he has any children now. If he dies and who will become the new Lord of Riverrun? Who will be his heir? This only real choice is Robin or me.”

 

She knew that she only had a few family members left while Jon had no clue who his mother even was. She was his only family. She hoped that at the end of this he would see how her first proposal would be the best for them both. She needs him to see that this only way for her to stay. To never be apart again. She needs him to see things her way. 

 

“As you know Robin is the only child of my aunt Lysa. He is very sick. That is why Lysa was so protected of him. He has had a very sheltered childhood and with his frail condition, I don’t think he will last this war or winter. Robin is the current Lord of the Eyrie. His father is gone the late Jon Arryn. His uncle Ronnel Arryn is deceased. His aunt Alys Arryn is deceased. His grandparents Jasper Arryn and Lady Arryn are dead. Who will be the next Lord of the Eyrie when Robin dies. He has no heirs and not married. It should be Harrold Hardyng. He is great-nephew to Lord Jon Arryn and should Robin die without issue. But there will be some issues. Petyr Baelish is the new Lord Protector of the Vale should not be trusted. He has spent too much time to get that title and he won’t give it up easily. I have no idea of what he is planning.”

 

She lied to Jon again. She had an idea what he was planning and the most likely steps he was going to take. But for now, she needs to keep him in the dark. For if he knew he would take to action so it wouldn’t pass and it will cause a war within the North itself. Countless would die to protect her from Petyr Baelish. The rest would die from the Lannister or the White Walker. And if there any to survive they would most likely be killed by the Dragon Queen. The North will be gone.

 

Jon was sitting up string looking stern “What do you think he will plan?”

 

Sansa took the last few drinks of the wine “I don’t know.”

 

Jon knew she was either lying or she truly didn’t know. But he knew something was scaring her. He stood from his chair, walked over to her and hugged her tightly. “Sansa if you know what he will do you need to tell me. I can protect you. We will make it right. No one will take us apart.” 

 

Sansa so wanted to believe Jon words. But she remembers what she told him at Castle Black. No one can protect me. No one can protect anyone. When he released her she shook her head. “It's not that. I truly don’t know what he is planning. I have been with him awhile and it still takes so long for me to understand why he did the things he did. It's only after he explains do I see why. I don’t think I couldn’t guess what his next move was. I am scared I will make the wrong choice and I will be playing into his hands. Or I will limit our choices later on. But I am thinking my marriage will change his plan or give an idea of his plan.”

 

Jon frowned “How do you think your marriage will help figure out his plan?”

 

Sansa said with confidence “Yes it will. It will buy us time it at least one year if not longer. He will need to rethink everything. He will be forced to start from scratch.”

 

Jon looked very confused “How? You don't know what he has planned”

 

Sansa took a deep breath “By marrying you Jon”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone likes it so far.
> 
> With this story I am trying to be close the TV show. The other fanfic I am working on is more based on the book. So I might add a few lines from the book from other characters to add more depth to the characters. I am open to suggestions.


	3. The Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe  
> 10 days after the Battle of the Bastards - early morning

Jon stepped away from Sansa so fast he almost fell over. Once he had his balance he bellowed “Marry you? Who do you think we are Targaryen?”

 

Sansa straighten up and she was just slightly taller than Jon now. “No we are ** Starks** and winter is here”

 

Jon baffled by her statement. “We are blood, Sansa. If we were to marry we would be no better than Jamie and Cersei Lannister”

 

 

Sansa said with a monotone “The main problem for them was she said Joffrey, Tommen and Myrcella were Baratheon. They were only Hills.”

 

 

Jon eyes widen “ ** _That is your problem_.** That Cersei try to pass off her children as Baratheon not that the fact that she was sleeping with her twin brother.”

 

 

Sansa took another drink of her wine before speaking “Targaryen have been marrying their siblings for centuries and no one stood up against them. “

 

 

Jon had moved back to his desk. And looked at Sansa as if her answer was the second craziest thing he had heard. Once he had gained his voice he answered in a forceful tone “because they had Dragons”

 

 

Sansa answered right back and taking a step closer to Jon. “When the Targaryen’s were in charge they had no dragons for over the last hundred years. The last dragon dies in 153 AC. And it was not a healthy dragon.”

 

 

Jon step back “That may be fine for Targaryen but I won’t marry my sister.”

 

 

Sansa studied his face before answering in a calm tone “ _I never saw you as my brother._ My mother saw to that. You never saw me as your sister either. The only sister you have is Arya. You only saw me as Robb’s or Arya’s sister.  Don’t lie. You need a queen and I will need a husband soon. Winter is here. With us wed we will never have to leave the North. Let the other Kingdoms fight for the Iron Throne. We will stay here.”

 

 

Jon scowled and walked behind his desk. As he sat down in his chair runs his hand through his hair “The North will not agree to it.” For a second he had almost considered marrying Sansa. He then hits the table with his fist. “And even if they did. I won’t marry my blood.”

 

 

Sansa walked over to the table and poured another glass of wine. She kept her back to Jon as she being to speak “A cousin marriage is widely common throughout history and is considered acceptable in the North. Our grandparents were first cousins. Alys wanted me to marry Robin. My mother had considered it when we were younger. Besides I would not be the ** _first_ ** Sansa Stark to marry a man who was closer in blood than her cousin.”

 

 

Sansa loved her name until she found out who she was named after. Jon remembered her cry to their father asking to change her name to anything else. He had no clue why she would want to change it. It was a beautiful name that suited her.  It was only until Robb had told Jon about who Sansa was named after.

 

 

Sansa took one more drink of her wine before turning around to face Jon. “Sansa Stark married her uncle Jonnel Stark better known as One-eye Stark one winter long ago. Sansa Stark was the daughter of Rickon Stark and Jeyne Manderly. Rickon Stark was the first son of Cregan and first wife Arra Norrey.  Jonnel Stark was the second son of Cregan but he was the first son of Cregan Stark and Lynara Stark. She was Cregan third wife. Sansa sister Serena Stark married their other uncle Hedrick Stark the second son of Cregan Stark and Lynara Stark.”

 

 

When Sansa had finished Jon had to break eye contact with her. He was looked down at his desk. Sansa could see Jon is getting more upset which each passing moment. Jon then hit his fist on the desk again and yelled: “I won’t marry my blood.” What had outraged Jon more was the fact he was not outraged at all. Sansa had some good points. He had no real responses to her answers.

 

 

Sansa Tully blue eyes were filled with commanding power “You are the King of the North. You will need to marry soon. I am sure you have noticed that there are more females in the castle than before. Many of the noblemen have brought their daughters here. I know they have told you that they are worried for their safety but we both know why they are here. They know you will soon be taking a wife. And it won’t be long before they start bringing their sons, nephew, and cousins to court me.”

 

 

Jon couldn’t deny he knew what they were doing. There had been increases of woman here in Winterfell.  He knew that they were trying to get on his good side.

 

 

Sansa eyes sparkled more authoritative “When we had asked for help they had turned us away. House Glover had rebuffed us and we receive no response from Houses Cerwyn and Manderly. But we both know the only reason they didn’t answer was they want to go against House Bolton. They had no loyalty to you or me. The only house that stood with us was Houses Mormont, Hornwood, and Mazin.”

 

 

Jon was a man of honor and he wouldn’t allow anyone including Sansa talk badly about the houses that have swears loyalty to House Stark. “When Robb went to war for **_YOU._**  Rob had died all of their sons died. Their heirs died.  Their men had died. They didn’t know if we would win. They didn’t want more of their men dying for a cause they couldn’t win.”

 

 

Jon had stood up facing Sansa “I have seen good men go back on their word. They did it because of fear. I can’t blame them for their fear. You know I had I pledged my life to the Nights Watch for all nights to come. And my own brother's from the Nights Watch killed me. They had feared what I had done. They feared what the wildlings would do. I wanted to run from the battle against Ramsay but you talked me into staying and fighting. Fear is very powerful and it can make a good man weak.”

 

 

Once those words left his mouth he knew it was wrong. Even though everything he said was true that didn’t make it right. Sansa had placed her cup down before speaking to Jon in a voice so cold it sent shivers down his spine “ _yes fear is very powerful_ l. Lord Umber gave Rickon to Ramsay to win favor and protect his house just at the cost of our brother life. Our own Cadet branch House Karstark joined Ramsay.  Lord Galbart Glover was one of the first to join Robb with the war to bring me back. Lord Galbart had died in the war. And the reason why he went to war was standing in front of the new Lord Robett Glover and he still refused us. Lord Cley Cerwyn had both of his parents and uncle flayed alive by Ramsay Bolton. But Lord Cley Cerwyn said nothing to us. Their words are Honed and Ready. They were not ready to stand with us against that monster. House Manderly was driven from the Reach, but the Starks gave them their land in exchange for fealty. Lord Wyman Manderly son Ser Wendel Manderly was a knight who fought in the war with Robb. He was killed at the Red Wedding.”

 

 

Jon could feel himself getting smaller. It was then he noticed he was sitting back in the chair. He had felt like he was 7 years old again getting scolded by Lady Catelyn. When Sansa was mad she had looked enough like Lady Catelyn to make him feel so insignificant but with that tone Sansa used, he doubts that even Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun would feel taller than 2 feet.

 

 

When Sansa spoke again it was not as cold but you could still feel her commanding strength “Fear is very powerful. So why that is the 10-year-old Lady Lyanna Mormont was the first to join us. Yes, it was not easy discussion but she joined us.  At the gathering of all houses in the North, she was the first to speak for you. What she said I will never forget. **_House Mormont remembers_ ___The_ _North remembers. We know no king but the King in the North whose name is Stark._** ”

 

 

Sansa had let out a smile. Something she had not done since she has teased him about calling Jon his grace. Jon missed her smile. Even though it was gone only a few minutes it felt like weeks. “I also remember you had told me that when Stannis Baratheon asked her to commit her House to his cause. And you had told me her response was Bear Island knows no king but the King in the North, whose name is Stark. A foreign conqueror came and they didn’t bend a knee. They were loyal to House Stark even when there was no Stark in Winterfell.”

 

 

Sansa face him and her tone had become more serious again “Her mother had died during the War of the Five Kings with Robb. Even though she is 10 she is stronger than most of the Lords even if she is from a minor house. When we went to parley with Ramsay Bolton she stared him down. She knew that if we lose her people will die. That she would die. She knew that no matter what Ramsay knew what her face looked like. She would never get away from him.”

 

 

Sansa had to take a long drink of the wine before finishing. Even though Ramsay had died he still had some control of her. Just his name sometimes would make her blood boil and her skin crawl at the same time. ”She knew the stories about the Boltons. She knew they had betrayed Robb. They had betrayed the North. Their words were Our Blades Are Sharp. But most know their words are A Naked Man Has Few Secrets; A Flayed Man, None. It goes with their sigil a red flayed man, hanging upside-down on a white X-shaped cross. I am sure that she even heard what happened to me in Winterfell by Ramsay. She knew all of this and yet she joined our case.”

 

 

Jon’s stomach twisted in knots. He had heard what Ramsay had done to people before the battle but what he was not ready for the remains in the castle. As he went into the castle for the first time after the battle the horror made him throw up almost three times. But what broke his heart was when Sansa told him to stop from going into one room. She told him that room was Ramsay _favorite_ room to flay men and she knew it was not cleaned yet.

 

 

Sansa could see Jon lost in thought. The thought must have been heartbreak by the look on his face. She wanted to finish talking about the other two houses that stood by them. But she could see that this was enough for now. She needs him to see that marrying him was the best choice for her and for him. She couldn’t marry someone from who was not brave enough to fight against a monster like Ramsay. She couldn’t marry a man she loved but she could marry a man her father wanted her to marry in the first place. She had to marry someone to strengthen House Stark.  Ned told her that when she was old enough he would make a match with someone who is worthy of her. Someone who was brave, gentle and strong. That was all Jon. She knew that Jon was not the man in mind but winter was here.

 

 

Marrying her would give Jon a reason to fight in the upcoming wars. She had to help see what he was doing the right thing. She was his redemption and she knew it. She was tired of being everyone redemption. But right now she needs to be that for Jon.

 

 

Jon looked at her like he was falling apart. He had opened his mouth a few times before one word had come out. “ Why?”


	4. Sansa’s Requests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe  
> 10 days after the Battle of the Bastards - early morning

Sansa smiled she knew that he was at least think about marrying her. She smiled as big as she could “You are the kind of man father wanted me to marry. And you will be a good king.”

 

 

Jon was enraged by her comment. She said he will be King again. He knows she is not the same young girl from his childhood. But part of him still sees that young girl and not the strong woman in front of him “You can’t be doing all of this because I am King of the North.”

 

 

Sansa was furious with Jon’s question “I want to marry you because I know it is right. There is so much wrong in this world. Do you blame me for wanting this? We trust one another. We care for one another. And I know we will both grow to love each other as husband and wife. I can help you  keep the crown in the North and I will help you keep peace in our Kingdom.”

 

 

Jon “why would I need help keep the crown?”

 

 

Sansa “when you play a game of thrones you win or you die. There is no middle ground. And I don’t want to us to die. ”

 

 

John howled “ _So this is a game_? Is that why you are going behind my back? Is that why you didn’t say anything about the Vale? Cause you want to be queen?” Jon knew deep down that was not the reason why but he had trusted her and she seems to not trust him.

 

 

Sansa took another drink. She knew she needed to take another drink before even saying his name aloud “I have a hard time trusting people. After Petyr gave me to Ramsey.”

 

 

Jon enraged said “ ** _He sold you to Ramsey_** ”

 

 

Sansa was trying not to let her anger thought. Sansa you are _steel_. Do not bend to him. “I didn’t tell you about the Vale was I didn’t believe they would come. When we went to ask the houses who have not pledged their loyalty to House Ramsey if they would keep their pledge of loyalty to our house most had turned us away or didn’t answer. I am not sure if anyone in the Vale knew what kind of person he was but I am sure they would have heard at the very least after my marriage what was happening to me. Still, no one came. Why would I believe anyone to come?”

 

 

She _wanted_ to add on that you didn’t come for me Jon. Not when I was in Kings Landing. Not when our father was killed. Not when Joffrey was beating me. Not when Robb was killed at the Red Wedding and betrayed by Roose Bolton. Not when I was forced to marry Tyrion. Not when Winterfell was taken over by Theon. Not when the Bolton took over Winterfell. Not when I was forced to marry Ramsay. You never came. But she knew it was not fair to say.

 

 

Sansa calmed down and used the tone sent shivers down Jon’s spine “Father died because he trusted the wrong people. Robb died because he was betrayed by people he trusted. I am tired of being a pawn. I am tired of being scared. When I am with you I have a voice. I believe there is good in the world again. I believe in you. I believe again”

 

 

Jon knew that from a young age Sansa had always had the strongest belief out of all the children. And to survive as long as she did he thought surely her belief would have gotten stronger.

 

 

Sansa quietly said “I used to think in Kings Landing that the **_monsters_** were the only one who would win. I don't pray anymore. There was only reason why I went to the Godswood when I was in the Red Keep” the pause laid so heavy on Jon's shoulders "it's the only place I can go where people don't talk to me. I was the disgraced daughter of the traitor, Ned Stark”

 

 

Sansa could see why Cersei was always drinking. She had made her way back to the table to pour another glass of wine. This was her third cup within the hour. She knew that this would be her last. “Jon I don’t want to think about what happened between when I left you and Winterfell and when I was in your arms again at Castle Black.”

 

 

As she looked at him before telling him their other choices, he looked as if she was broken and damaged beyond repair. She knew now he had to guard her heart from him. If he was unsure about the marriage she could work with it but she couldn’t deal with that look. She had gotten enough of it at Kings Landing. She knew that one of them would leave. And she would be a pawn again.

 

 

She skipped her first back up plan. He knew that if he couldn’t handle this talk there was no way a political marriage would work for him or Winterfell. But more importantly, she wanted him to be happy. After everything their family had put then though he deserves better. She was steel she could make it work. She also knew that marrying the Dragon Queen would **_eat him alive_** maybe even literally.  He would have to be like King Torrhen Stark. Jon will be known as the new King Who Knelt.

 

 

All that was left was a political marriage for her or to marry someone from the Vale. It will be between Robin, Harry, and Petyr. Her best hope out of the three was Robin who adored her and told her  “When we get married, you can tell me if you don't like somebody and then we can bring them back here and whoosh! Right through the Moon Door!” All she had to do was tell Robin that Petyr made her lie or he would hurt her or him. And with his health, he wouldn’t be long for this world. Next would be Harry Hardyng the great nephew Jon Arryn. He is the heir presumptive of Lord Robert “Robin” Arryn and would ascend to rule of the Vale as "Harrold Arryn" should Robin die without issue. But that will be for another day. She hopes before she brings it up in soon that Jon will be more open to the idea of marrying her. Even if he didn’t she would have guarded her heart better than now.

 

 

Sansa looked down at her hands “I think that is enough marriage talk for now. I would like to bring up a few other thoughts I had”

 

 

Jon was so gratified to change the topic he would agree to anything “what are they?”

 

 

Sansa softly said “I would like Ser Davos’s family to come to Winterfell. We both know what it’s like to have no family near you. I know he misses them. As well as I am sure they miss him dearly. I would also like to give him some land along with a title after the war.”

 

 

Jon was surprised to think he never thought about Davos family. Davos has been away for so long with Stannis fighting War of the 5 Kings. Now he had just got done fighting alongside them against the Boltons and soon the undead. He didn’t even ask much about Davos about his life. “Aye. It’s done. Anything else?”

 

 

Sansa gave a small smile. “I wish for you to name Brienne and Podrick Knights of Winterfell”

 

 

Jon smiled for the wish was simple and he had already planned on doing so “Of course Sansa. I am sure Tormund will be happy. He may even bathe.”

 

 

Sansa looked relieved to Jon disproval. Did she think so little of him? Yes, he didn’t think about Davos but Brienne and Podrick had saved Sansa life more than once. He was going to knight them within the next moon.  “I would also like for them both to look for squires. I am sure many men from some noble house wouldn’t like their sons to squire Brienne or even Podrick so I was thinking that they will take on young boys and girls from a lesser house, Wildlings, and Snows.”

 

 

Jon looked apprehensive about the Sansa request. She could see the confused look on his face. “I want young men and women to have a chance to be a knight like Brienne. I don’t want their family statuses to stop them. And we need all of the knights and warriors we can get”

 

 

Jon smiled for he understood what she was doing “and if they can’t find any young women who want to be trained they will need to go looking for a young woman who wants to be a knight.”

 

 

Sansa smile was brighter now “Yes and if that young lady was to become a knight she could be one of our personal knights and never leave our side.”

 

 

 _Jon knew it was all for Araya_. When Araya comes back she will be free to be a knight like Brienne. She won’t be a pawn. She won’t be forced to marry anyone. She would never have to leave their side. She will live her dream.

 

 

Sansa curtsey to Jon. “I will take my leave now, your grace”

 

 

Jon gave her a stoic look “It’s Jon remember”

 

 

She smiled “farewell, for now, Jon” Sansa walked out the door making her way to Brienne.


	5. Legends of Winterfell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe  
> 10 days after the Battle of the Bastards - mid morning  
> Sansa POV

Sansa made her way down the hall to the courtyard see can see Davos laughing. It was not a rare sight as Jon’s laugh but it was uncommon. As she got closer to him she could see Tormund covered in mud on the ground. Brienne was standing over him her face flushed. Podrick was trying his best to not laugh at the scene. A few of the younger noble men were laughing and looking at Brienne.

 

As soon as Brienne saw Sansa she pulled her self together as best she could and bowed her head politely. "Princess Sansa"

 

All of the men soon followed suit bowing their heads “Princess Sansa.”

 

Sansa smiled only guessing what had happened “Lady Brienne I wish to take a walk and see how Winterfell is doing.”

 

Brienne was still flushed “Yes my lady”

 

Sansa smiled “I think that a warrior cover in mud might be intimidating. Could you please clean off the mud or change into something different before heading out.” She could hear some of the men snickering.

 

Brienne looked somewhat unpleased with her statement but did as she was asked. “Yes, I will change Princess.” She bowed her head politely and walked away. Podrick followed her.

 

Sansa looked at Davos and gave him a small smile before asking “Could I ask you a _question?_ ”

 

Davos trying his best to not laugh still looking at Tormund was getting up “Yes Princess.”

 

Sansa straighten her posture “I would like you to answer honestly and best as you can.”

 

Davos has stopped laughing and straighten his posture while looking at her. “Yes I will give you my honest option Princess Sansa”

 

Sansa asked the simple question “What would Stannis think about me?”

 

Davos spoke slowly “I don’t understand you question Princess.”

 

Sansa in a low tone “I think a better question is after he had _killed_ Ramsay we both know he would have killed him. Would he let me _live_?

 

Davos comfortable “My Princess he wouldn’t have killed you. You are a true born daughter of Lord Eddard Stark and Lady Catelyn Stark. You have been forced to marry Tyrion Lannister when you were a hostage in the King's Landing. And **undoubtedly** you were forced to marry Ramsey.”

 

Sansa spoke softly “I only asked because what he did before the battle”

 

Davos looked so depressed at the statement. “Aye. I never thought that he would do that. But I know killing you would be a regretful move. If he wanted to have the loyalty of the North he would have to let you live. I am sure you head about what Lady Mormont wrote to Stannis. She was a young Lady from a small house and yet they were still loyal to the Starks. What would happen if he killed the last Stark? No house would be loyal. They would be plotting to destroy him.”

 

Sansa sighed “So he would keep me alive as a _prisoner_?”

 

Davos “I think you misunderstood me, Princess.”

 

Before he could finish Sansa looked away from Davos and to the doors at the end of the courtyard “Would King Stannis Baratheon allow a woman with so much power in the North be allowed to be unwed? Would he marry me off to a loyal house who served him from the start? Would marry me off to a Norther house? And what if I wouldn’t marry? What would he do then?”

 

Davos was speechless for some time before Sansa looked at him and smiled. “I see you don’t know. Don’t worry about answering. I was just wondering what you think he would do.”

 

Sansa knew what would happen. She knew he would do. When Sansa was running back to her chambers during the battle of Blackwater Bay Ser Sandor Clegane the Hound was sitting on her bed in the shadows, waiting for her. He told her Stannis is a killer. The world is built by killers. She should have left with him when he said he could take her back to Winterfell. He said he would never hurt her and she _ **believed**_ him.

 

Brienne had told her that she ran into Arya along with the Hound going to see their aunt Lysa. If she went with him she would be with her sister. Maybe even made it to their brother and mother but she knew if they had made it to them they would have also died at the Red Wedding. At the very least they would have made it to Winterfell with Bran and Rickon. Maybe talked some sense into Theon or at least warn Bran about him.

 

She knows that she would be more than likely she would have died but she would have the family. At the very least bury them, the only who received a burial so far is Rickon. Sansa had just finished laying him to rest. The Frey’s have her mother the Lady Catelyn, their brother Robb, his wife Talisa along with all of their bannermen bones. Right now all she has is Jon but with the proposal, she might not have him.

 

Sansa is lost in thought when Brienne walks back into the courtyard. “Princess Sansa, we are ready to leave if you are done talking to Ser Davos”

 

Sansa turned to Davos “I believe we are done. Unless you have something you would like to add?”

 

Davos shook his head then smirked “Tormund is not into too much pain from his last defeat. He is taking on some of the young men.” Brienne looked at the Onion Knight as he walked to Tormund. He was fighting some of the young noble men who were laughing at him after his defeat from Brienne.

 

Tormund was yelling as one of the young men fell “ If you _cunts_ cannot beat me now. You won’t survive the long night.”

 

Brienne looked upset when Tormund was yelling. Before she could say anything Sansa started to walk to the East gate. Her and Podrick followed suit. As Brienne and Podrick walked on the side of Sansa she could see the disarray of Winterfell. Ramsey had set fire to the house of the few people who showed Sansa kindness. And Theon had taken part some house for the wood after killing all of the Ravens. So much had to be done before the war of the undead and the long winter.

  
With the noble houses and their armies in Winterfell, her home felt so big and at the same time so small. She saw a few children in the distance playing princess and knight fighting against the dragon to save the princess. She thought about how she and her sibling were younger they would fight against the dragon normal to save princess Sansa.

 

She looked at Brienne and smiled. “Did you know there are few dragon legends in Winterfell?”

 

Brienne said in an even tone “No my lady”

 

Podrick gave his normal goofy smile to Sansa “Would you be kind enough to tell us?”

 

Sansa looked very pleased with Podrick asking to continue “there is a belief among citizens of Winterfell that a dragon once lived underneath the ground. They believe a dragon's breath was what heated the water. And that is why the hot springs in the ground stay warm even during winter.”

 

Podrick blushed slightly at Sansa smile “You said that was a few. What are the others?”

 

Sansa smiled “There is another dragon legend in Winterfell. They say that Prince Jacaerys Velaryon Dragon Vermax placed a clutch of eggs in the depths of the crypts of Winterfell. Well according to The Testimony of Mushroom claims. I remember Robb and Jon used to go looking for the eggs but there was an accident and many paths were closed off. Our father told us that under no circumstances were we to go down the paths until it was reinforced. He only got to reinforced three paths.”

 

Podrick said half-jokingly “Do you think King Jon will continue looking for the eggs? I believe that dragons would come in handy in the upcoming war.”

 

Brienne was clearly annoyed by the comment but didn’t say anything because her lady seemed so happy to talk about the past. Sansa was truly happy. She had happy memories and for a brief few minutes she was just Sansa.

 

Sansa giggled. “I think he is a little busy with the war but maybe I will go looking. There are also stories of Ice Dragons.”


	6. Kissed by Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe  
> 10 days after the Battle of the Bastards - mid morning  
> Jon POV

Tormund was yelling as one of the young men fell “If you cunts cannot beat me now. You won’t survive the long night.” Tormund looked up to watched Brienne walk away with Sansa.

 

Tormund was furious with the lack of respect for Brienne. She was twice the warrior then these weak southern cunts. He was pissed if the Free Folk knew how weak the Southern men were they could have taken over a long time ago. They should have done it before Jon Snow joined the watch.

 

* * *

 

 

Jon was still in the room still reflecting on Sansa proposal. She had _good points_ about them marrying but it was not honorable. He had made a promise to himself that he would do right by her. He would protect her. She was his last known blood. He couldn’t tarnish her or the name Stark. She deserved better than him. He was the bastard king. It was only reason why he is King Stark is because of Sansa legitimatized him.

 

She had told the entire noble houses “the North knows no king but whose name is Stark. We have the same father Eddard Stark. Our grandparents are the same Lord Rickard Stark and Lady Lyarra Stark. He is not King Snow. He is _**King Stark.**_ He died for the Free Folk because it was right. Our father died because he told the truth. He did what was right. Jon is more of a Stark than me or Robb not only in looks but in honor. Robb went back on his oath. Our father would never do that. Jon is as noble as our father. They both would do whatever was right, no matter.” When she told the entire noble houses he was a Stark he felt like a King. Between Sansa and Lady Mormont no Lord there could deny Jon the name Stark.

 

When went from chanting King of the North to King Stark he looks at Sansa. She couldn’t look more proud of him. She was so beautiful that day. Not that she has ever been anything less than beautiful but she smiles less. Everything about her is beautiful her red hair, her womanly figure, her bright smile and her piercing blue Tully eyes. But she was more than outer beauty but she had inner strength too. She is clever, thoughtful, caring, fierce and loyal.

 

Then it hit him. Her heavenly smell, it was a mix of lavender, rosemary and something sweet like honey but it was all her. The room smelled like her. He had to leave the room. He needed to clean his mind. He needed to fight someone or some things. He made his way to the courtyard. When he got there he could see Tormund cover in mud standing with many men on the ground.

 

Jon approached Davos looking a Tormund he couldn’t help but smile at the sight “Don’t kill the men before the war. We will need every warrior we can get” The men around Tormund bowed to Jon either saying “Your grace” or “King Stark”

 

Tormund turned to Jon and practically growled “I’ll tell you what I told them. If these _cunts_ cannot beat me now after battle with a real warrior they won’t survive the long night”

 

Jon sighed “Did Lady Brienne just got done kicking your arse?”

 

Tormund let out a loud laugh “Aye. She is stronger than a bear.”

 

Jon let out a small chuckle “I remember Sansa telling me she fought a real bear before. She also fought The Hound Sandor Clegane. And one of the Loins Jaime Lannister better knew as Kingslayer. So she has fought 3 terrifying beasts and won them all.”

 

 “She has fought 3 terrifying beasts and won. She beat him this afternoon with ease. So it’s 4 beasts now. He has a long way to go” Davos smiled at Torumand.

 

Tormund grinned “Make me want her even more”

 

“Your grace you have something on your mind?" Davos asked

 

Jon looked rather depressed “she wanted to talk about _**her** _ future marriage.” Davos just nodded. Jon didn’t want to state to Davos that he was one the she wanted to marry. “Then she talked about how a ** _king will need a queen_**.”

 

Davos “Winter is here your grace. We will need alliances to survive the winter and the undead war to come. Marriage is one of the fastest ways ensure an alliance.”

 

Tormund was walking toward them wiping off the mud from his face “You are very beautiful Jon. But we are not married, I never did kidnap you. It was Ygritte. **_Not that I haven’t thought about kidnapping you._** ” Jon let out a chuckle.

 

Tormund smiled wickedly “I know you have a thing for kissed by fire and I am clearly handsome. I have seen how you looked at me after she passed.” Jon was laughing harder now.

 

Tormund looked Jon up and down “I mistake you for a woman the first time I saw you. You’re prettier than both my daughters. When I saw you naked I thought you were a woman again. No man would have a pecker that small. You know how you fight and you are young. Any wildlings would love you as their wife. **_But_** I am trying to kidnap Brienne. She is stronger than Shella my bear wife. This will take some time.”

 

Jon is laughing so hard at this point he was on the verge of tears. Tormund “don’t cry, Jon. If Brienne breaks my heart, arms, legs, and skull. I will do the right thing and kidnap you. I will save enough strength for that.”

 

The two red heads were going to be the death of him today. Jon had stopped and thought that his life in one way or another has been defined by people who were kissed my fire. Lady Catelyn was the only real mother figure he had in his life. She was a ghost of what could have been. No matter what she did to him he never truly wanted to disappoint her. Even now.

 

Robb was his brother even if he didn’t have the Stark name at the time. Robb was his best friend. He was one reason why he pushed himself so hard when they were younger. Robb had told him once he was lord of Winterfell he would knight him. Robb was his hope for the future when he was younger.

 

Ygritte was the Wildling woman that Jon Snow encountered traveling beyond the Wall. She was his first love. She died in his arms wishing to go back to cave. Saying they should've stayed in that cave. Part of him wishes they could have. She made him think about a different future for himself.

 

Tormund was once is enemy turn ally. The crows killed him and Tormund came to him. Even though he was dead he still came. When the Lord of Bones insults Tormund for being at the side of Jon, Tormund just beat his former ally to death with his own staff. Now he is one of Jon’s most trusted advisors. Tormund made him want to do what was right no matter what more.

 

The Red Priestess Melisandre had brought him back to life. She had done the impossible she stopped death. She had given a clean slate. He was free from his vows from the Nights Watch. He could protect what was left of his family. He could take back their home. When Rickon had died he asked Melisandre to bring him back to life. She tried for 3 days. With that, she had done to Shireen she had to be gone. He had to spare her life for she had given his back.

 

Rickon was his failure as an older brother. If he was faster maybe he would be alive. Maybe if he left the watch sooner he would be alive. He was still so young, barely even three the last time Jon had left him at Winterfell. Now, he looked exactly as their brother Robb had as a young child, dark auburn hair and blue eye. He was so cold when they laid him to rest. He wouldn't let Sansa end up like him.

 

Sansa was his new reason to lead, to fight and to live. She was the last of his known family. She had an inner strength that he was lacking. When he was uncertain of something she had the right words for him. Even if the words were not clear at the time. Her Tully eyes have always been commanding. When she told me wanted me to help but she would have done it herself if she have to. I could see she meant it. She would have sold her body, her pride and her future to win Winterfell. She would do it so Arya, Bran and Rickon would have a home to go to even I if I decided to go back.

 

When she grabbed my hand at Castle Black told me monster has taken our home and our brother. We have to go back to Winterfell and save them both. I saw her as a woman, not just my sister. A woman who has lost so much and was willing to do anything to keep what is left. She would have married Tormund if it meant the Wildlings aid. She would have slept with Petyr. No, I must not think like that about Sansa. Jon thought about what he said to her before the battle. I will never let him touch you again. I will protect you. She said no one can protect me. How many men have? No, don’t think like that. She is your sister, not your wife. But still, no man who is not worthy of her will touch her.

 

Tormund walked behind Jon before hitting on the back “You look like your guts are getting pulled out through your throat.”

 

Davos had a look of concern “How often have you seen that?’

 

Tormund laughed “Cause I was the one pulling the guts just once. Jon fight me. These _cunts_ are not cutting it. And it looks like you need a fight too.”

 

Jon “Aye” took a sword from one of the fallen men while another helped Jon into some armor. Sadly with Jon head filled with Sansa, he was taking out in a few moves and covered in mud.

 

Tormund stood over Jon “Where is your mind?”

  
Jon “it’s on Sansa”

 

Tormund grinned “I didn’t think you _looked_ at her that way”

 

Jon frowned at the comment “not like that” he was happy he was covered in mud. He could feel himself blushing.

 

“Sansa is kissed by fire. She is very spirited. I remember I refused to stop calling you Snow or Lord Crow she looked as if she was going to skin me alive. Not a stretch after living with Ramsey.” Tormund helped Jon up from the ground was looked as if he was going to skin him alive. Tormund was laughing “Yes that very same look. Jon I don’t think you will find another woman who is prettier than you."

 

Jon looked annoyed “She is my sister we have the same father. Don’t talk about her that way. She is the lady of Winterfell”

 

Tormund shrugged “I know several good men that fucked their half-sisters. Hell, I fucked a bear more than once.”

 

Jon looked him straight in the eyes “ _ **It's not how we do it in the North**_ ”

 

Tormund smiled “You are Southern to us. We don’t care as long as you don’t have the same mother.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going off the book description for Rickon’s looks


	7. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe  
> 12 days after the Battle of the Bastards - mid morning  
> Jon PoV
> 
> Sansa POV Second half

Ever since Jon was younger he had a dream about the crypts in Winterfell. At first, he thought it was because of Prince Jacaerys Velaryon dragon Vermax has hidden a few eggs there long ago. What kid won’t want to have their own dragon? But after a tunnel almost tumbled on him and Robb he has avoided it as much as possible. Before laying Rickon to rest it was 5 years since last standing in the crypts. There was a tomb ready for Rickon. It is a Stark practice to prepare these graves far in advance. It was not uncommon to have one made weeks if not days after the child is born. Jon knew there was one down here for him and Sansa.

 

Since Jon has reunited with Sansa this was the first time he had seen her cry. If she had cried since then she didn’t show it. She didn’t cry when she first saw Rickon. Jon has guessed the grief didn’t hit her then. She didn’t cry when she found his tomb next to Bran. She didn’t cry when she saw her parents or Robbs tomb empty. She cried for the size of the tomb he was being laid to rest in. It was much bigger than their youngest brother. She was crying for losing him so young and only guessing what that monster Ramsey did to him his last few days. Jon didn’t want to think about what Ramsey did to his family.

 

When Jon knocked Ramsey out in the courtyard he knew he had to suffer for what he had done to his family. He had his men knock out his dogs and placed them back into their cages but left the doors open. Then had Ramsey tied to a chair so the dogs would eat their master. He wanted his dogs to turn on him like the Boltons did to the Starks at the Red Wedding. But most of all he didn’t want Sansa to kill him. He wanted to save her from that. She deserves her revenge but Jon didn’t want her hands tainted.

 

He knew she had not killed **_yet_**. He knows it would be a matter of time before she had to kill but she was his reason to continue with life. She is his reason to keep the North safe. If she wanted to run south he would. She was now his reason for being. The world is tainted with the blood of the innocent, infected with lies and hate. Yes, she is angry about what has happened to her and their family but it seems like it has not clouded her judgment. She has the experience he lacks with the lords and ladies. She understands the political standing of each choice in the North. She thinks about that is best for all. She will never run from her duties. She is destined to rule. _She is the Queen of the North_. And Queen will not get their hands dirty it is their King and his knights who do.

 

Jon hates sleep now for he only has two dreams these days. They are of life and death. One is protection Sansa and giving her everything she deserves. He loves those dreams. Everyone is happy and even though it’s white as far as the eyes can see at the same time it’s warm. Sansa always stands out in his dream. He wakes up refreshed and sleeps the whole night. But those dreams are happening less and less. The other dream is about the crypts. It's was the same dream since he was a kid. Jon finds himself in front of the door to the crypts. The crypts they are calling out to him to come in. He can see the steps spiraling down into blackness. Somehow he knows he has to go down there but he doesn't want to. He is afraid of what might be waiting for him. He stands at the top of the steps as he either walks down or back to Winterfell he wakes up in a cold sweat every night it seems almost imposable to get back to sleep.

 

**_\--------------------------------------------------------------------------_ **

 

Later on that morning, there was a knock at the door. Podrick went to the door. It was one of the Bannerman of House Mazin. “King Jon would like to see Lady Brienne. But not squire Podrick.”

 

Sansa looked up from needlework Sansa smiled at them “I am sure King Jon will have some news for you.” Brienne looked very unconformable while Podrick as grinning ear to ear. “Go Brienne. Go see his grace.”

 

Brienne bowed “my lady” before heading off with the Mazin’s bannerman. When Brienne left the room, Sansa looked at Podrick who was still grinning ear to ear. “Why are you so happy Podrick?” She went back to her needlework as he answered.

 

Podrick shyly answered “because King Jon will knight us both and we’ll be sent to look for Lady Arya before the war of the white walkers”

 

Sansa knew he would find it out much sooner than Brienne. Not because she was not as smart as Podrick but he was the squire for Lord Tyrion Lannister. He might have guessed it would happen but wasn’t sure when until he saw Sansa smiling face. She knew that Tyrion couldn’t show him anything with the sword but she knew he had given him great knowledge about the seven kingdoms. He was one of the most intelligent men in Kings Landing.

 

Sansa stopped from her needlework again to look at Podrick. “I never thanked you Podrick.”

 

Podrick looked shocked “for what my lady. I have done thing to deserve your thanks”

 

Sansa could feel herself blushing slightly “you help me in Kings Landing when you were a squire to Tyrion. You went with Lady Brienne to find me. And once you found me, you brought me to one of my last known family. You kept me safe at the whole time. Thank you and I will see to it you are knighted if it is not soon. I know you will be valuable to King Jon in many ways”

 

Podrick looked down “no my lady. Tyrion was the mastermind he was the one keeping you safe. I was just following his orders. I did learn a lot from Tyrion. I learned the personal history of each house. Not just their words but how they were formed and how they get along with other house. Lady Brienne is a master with the sword. She is the one who kept you safe. Also, she has a determination I will achieve one day. You turn her way before as did Arya but she never gave up on bringing you back home.”

 

“Yes that is true but you have learned from them. I can see it. I know one day you will become a knight that one day squire will desire to become. I hope that when you become that knight you will still stand with House Stark.” Sansa said in a low tone going back to her needlework she could feel herself blushing. She had hoped her hair could cover some of the redness in her cheeks.

 

Podrick said in a gentle tone “I will if King Jon will have me." He sees Sansa is moving slightly "if I am making you uncomfortable Lady Sansa I can leave the room and wait outside the door until Lady Brienne comes back”

 

Sansa looked up knowing most of the redness had left her face “No Podrick I am not uncomfortable. I am just trying to finish this stitch. I like your company. I like the way you look at me.”

 

Podrick blushed “You are a very intelligent, beautiful, kind young lady from one of the noblest house in all of Westeros. I’m sure I’m not the only one who looks at you that way.”

 

Sansa had just understood what she had implied to Podrick. She had to look back down knowing her whole body was red. She could feel the tension in the air. She had to clear this up. But she was not ready to look up from her needlework. “I meant to say is you see me for me. You don’t look at me like a just pawn or I am broken. You don’t look at me like I am your salvation, redemption or replacement. I am just Sansa.”

 

She can’t believe she had told him that. She can’t even talk to that with Brienne. But she had, to be honest with him. She didn’t want him to change the way he looked at her. He was the only one who still looked at her like she was just Sansa even after knowing what she has been thought or done.

 

He has seen most of the horrific aftermath of the things to happen to her in Kings Landing stripped and beaten in front of the court. He was not in the court when it happened but he saw the mark and heard the rumors afterward. He was there at the wedding when King Joffrey had dropped dead. With her leaving so soon left Tyrion alone to be accused of poisoning his goblet. The same man who life he had save only months before. Podrick then went with Brienne knowing she would protect Sansa when she had just left Tyrion to die for accusing of killing King Joffrey.

 

When she didn’t trust Brienne and stayed with Petyr. Even after turning her away Brienne still wanted to save her. And he has seen some of the scars left by Ramsay when Brienne had to help change the bandage he said nothing. Not one time can she think about him judging her. He has not looked at her like she is broken or frail. Not even Jon can look at her. Most of the things he has seen are old scares. Podrick saw then all when they were will fresh and still hurting her and yet he won’t look at like the way Jon has. How the rest of Winterfell has.

 

Podrick quietly said “Forgive me by you not just Sansa. You are Lady Sansa of Winterfell. You have the Tully’s beauty and their intelligence like your mother. You have the Stark’s loyalties their sense of justice. After what you have been through you have never lost your kindness. You're wise beyond your years.”

 

Sansa had to stop her needlework when she heard Podrick’s words. She looked up at him and saw he gazed down. Even after everything she had done or has been done to her, Podrick still saw her as a noble lady who is worthy of respect and who was above him.

 

“Lord Tyrion said you when you first came to Kings Landing you were naïve but you were smart. After Jeffery did the unthinkable and took your father's head you still stood strong. You didn’t let people know how much you were hurting. Some people thought maybe you were grieving or heartless but Tyrion said it was because you knew you couldn’t trust anyone. You chose who to trust very carefully.

  
When he offered to end to this engagement all after a publicly beaten at court your response was I am loyal to King Joffrey, my one true love. Tyrion knew you would survive. He could see that you had to learn to survive as the lone wolf in the lion’s den. Tyrion is one of the smartest men I have ever met and you had earned his respect at the age of 13.

 

I earned his respect because I killed a man when he was not looking at me. You earned it by standing on your own. Even now you are standing on your own. You are amazing” Podrick stopped to look in her eye. She could feel him looking into her soul. Sansa could feel her eyes watering “I am sorry if I went too far my Lady” Podrick looked down again.

 

“No, you didn’t go too far.” She had to place her needlework down and Podrick looked up at her with wide eyes. “I think maybe some fresh air is in order. We should walk to Godswood”

 

Podrick smiles “yes my lady” and follows suite

 

When they are half way to the Godswoods Sansa could feel eyes on them. But to be honest she didn’t care. Podrick made her feel safe, she didn’t know when it started or when she noticed. Why is that she didn’t notice him when she was in Kings Landing? Why could she only see Brienne for the longest time?

  
When they had reached the Godwoods Sansa saw the bench that her father would always sit at. As she turned around to look at Podrick she thought about her father. She wondered if someone would was to walk by would they think they were the ghost of her parents. Her parents had their problems but for the most part, they seemed very happy. Everyone seems to say they were one of the happier couples. That is all she wanted. A marriage has happy as they were if not happier.

 

“Do you remember the dragon I told you the other day” Podrick grinned and nodded to her. “Because of the dragon breath heated the water so hot that it was unlivable for humans but it was heaven to the dragon. Old Nan told me that a young ice dragon that came here was killed by the fire dragon. The body of the ice dragon melted into the pond here. Even though it was young it was powerful enough to calm the hot springs. That is why the pond here is always very cold. And no matter how much fire the dragon used it would never get as hot as it was. So it left and Bran the Builder built Winterfell here."

 

Podrick smiled looking at Sansa “It sounds like she was there.”

 

“Maybe she was. My father said she was very old even when he was a child” Sansa felt like she was 12 again, getting butterflies in her stomach.

 

Podrick was looking very close to the pond “Does it freeze in winter?”

 

“My father said it never does no matter how cold it gets.” Sansa didn’t want to talk about her past anymore. “Can you tell me about yourself Podrick? I know almost nothing about you but you have saved my life more than once.” Sansa sat down on the bench.


	8. Your Past Our Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe  
> 12 days after the Battle of the Bastards - mid afternoon to late afternoon  
> Podrick's past is revealed.

To Brienne, she was redemption and _mother’s replacement._ She might have also been her future in one way. Brienne had failed to protect King Renly Baratheon. Her mother Catelyn convinces her to flee the camp, as she cannot avenge Renly if she too was dead. Brienne swears an oath of fealty to Catelyn, becoming her sworn sword. Catelyn died when she went to get her daughters Sansa and Arya. After taking Sansa to Jon she was able to kill Stannis Baratheon and avenge King Renly death. Sansa can feel something is missing from Brienne. She knows one day she will relieve Brienne from her oath to her so she can find what she is missing. She knows Brienne won’t like it but it will be for the best in the end. But deep down she knows that when Brienne looks at her she sees her mother. There have been a few times she has slipped and called her Lady Cathelyn.

 

To Petyr Baelish she was the key to the North, a pawn in this plan and once again her mother’s replacement. Any red haired Tully girl would do. He married her aunt Lysa first and killed her. They were both replacements for her mother. Sansa had heard from reliable gossip that Lysa was with Petyr child when they were younger. But her father Sansa grandfather Hoster Tully tricked Lysa into drinking a potion that caused her to miscarry. He used the fact that Lysa could get pregnant after one time to broker a marriage between Jon and Lysa. Jon Arryn had been married two times with no heir. It seemed that most Lord of the Eyrie from the Arryn house had a hard time having heirs. They always need to find a wife who was very fertile because most would miscarry at least three times before giving birth. So at the age of 16, Lysa married Jon Arron at the age of 63, a man who was 20 years older than her father. Lysa had miscarried four times before giving birth to Robin. Sansa felt so sorry for her aunt. She truly loved Petyr but she was just a pawn for her father and later to Petyr. She never wanted to end up like that. She wants to love a man who would love her back.

 

Lord Tyrion Lannister some called a drunken little lust-filled beast. At first, that is what she thought too. But she soon realized he saw her with different eyes not a man has for a woman but for a frightened child who needs to be protected. He looked at her he saw she was a bird in a cage. To him, Sansa was a quest for redemption for what his family has done to her family. He wanted to free her from her cage and in doing so he would a knight like in the stories or at least that was the feeling Sansa had.

 

He showed her kindness even before they were forced to marry. At the age of 14, Sansa married Tyrion who was 20 years older than her. He didn’t want the marriage as much as she did at the start. He vowed he would never bed her against her will. He would only sleep in their bed until she had asked him. Until then he would sleep on the chaise lounge. For the first time in a long time, she felt safe enough in Kings Landing to sleep through the night. She had seen a gentler side to him. She was starting to see him a friend. She didn’t want to leave his side when she was in Kings Landing. That was until he started to look at her with lust in his eyes. When she would walk in the garden she could feel his eyes on her. One of the few people she left safe with had started to look at her with lust. She was his wife and she was worried that the vow he would never bed her against her will might be broken. She _knew_ she had to leave him soon.

 

Sandor Clegane The hound had shown her kindness she didn’t know he was capable of. IT was not until after he left how much he had done and how much he cared for her. She remembers who she would look at her. He used to look at her like she was his salvation for all the wrong he did in the world. He would do whatever he could to save her. When he would call her little bird she thought it was because she was in a cage and was forced to sing for a monster. But it was because she needed to be protected until she could be set free. He had stopped her from killing Joffrey but in the end, it saved her. She would have died after killing Joffrey and chances the war would have been much worst. The Hound saved her from being raped and kidnapped. When she was stripped of clothing he offered his cloak to her. He offered to take her to Winterfell at the battle of Blackwater. He promised to keep her safe and never hurt her. Sansa believed him.

 

Later she found out he saved Arya and was on the road to take her to their aunt. He was never fond of Arya he would avoid her if he could but it always seems to be around Sansa. Podrick said Arya looked healthy and took his advice when not to go with him and Brienne. It was the Lannister gold that made her stop. Podrick said the hound looked worried for Arya's safety. Sansa wondered if it was the same look he had given her back in Kings Landing. Did he take pity on them because they were away from their home? No, it couldn’t be there were many young girls who were far from their home and he never showed them kindness like he showed her. When Brienne said she mortally wounded him Sansa could feel her stomach in knots. She never did get a chance to thank him. She never got a chance to ask him why did he show her kindness. Sansa thought that maybe a part of her loved Ser Sandor Clegane. Now that she can look back to Kings Landing with new eyes she can see he was a kind knight to her. Maybe with time, he could become a knight of her dreams. Yes, he had very rough edges but he was always gentle with her.

 

To Jon she was his salvation, his redemption while at the same time she was broken and fragile. She wanted to help him but he won’t listen. She wants to be by his side but pushes her away. She wants to show him she is made steel but he won’t look at her.

 

But to Podrick she was just Sansa. She has not felt like this in years. How is it that someone who talks so little has such a profound effect on her. However, Brienne had said that this is the most Pod has spoken. Most of the time he will only say a few words or just nod. So maybe Sansa thought to herself maybe I have an effect on him just as he has on me.

 

*********************************

 

Podrick is a member of a lesser branch of House Payne and distant cousin of Ser Ilyn Payne. His father died in the Greyjoy Rebellion and his mother abandoned him when he was four years old. She had run away with one of the cousins his father had squired for. His mother sent him off as fast as she could. Her new husband wanted nothing to do with him. Podrick still like to think from time to time that it was for his safety that he was sent away even though he knows that not to be true.

 

He ended up with Ser Cedric Payne who took care of him only due to his last name. Although he might have treated him more like a servant than a relative. He was told to be silent and to do as he was told. Ser Cedric took him along to tend his horse and clean his armor when Lord Tywin Lannister called his banners at the start of the War of the Five Kings. Ser Cedric died in the fighting in the Riverlands.

 

Podrick then became the squire of Ser Lorimer who was better known as Lorimer the Belly. He was not the best Knight but he was the first in a long time to show him kindness. One night Ser Lorimer got drunk and stole a ham from Lord Tywin's personal stores and was hanged for it. Due to his due to his family's name he was spared from death but as punishment, Tywin Lannister sent him to King's Landing to serve as squire to his son Tyrion. Tyrion knew for him to have a squire was somewhat a cruel jape from his father. But he never let the boy feel it. He had a tender spot in his heart for cripples, bastards, and broken things. It was Tyrion who showed him any real kindness. He had never chastised Podrick for doing something wrong. Tyrion often made jokes of his nephew Joffrey’s inability to rule. He had encouraged him to do the same but Podrick didn’t feel it was his place. But it was comforting to know if he did speak out Lord Tyrion would never punish him.

 

At the battle of Blackwater Tyrion trusted him enough to show him a map of the tunnel network beneath the city. When King Stannis Baratheon landed near the Mud Gate Tyrion dispatched Podrick to fetch reinforcements from the King's Gate. Podrick did as ordered, returning with a host of men just as King Joffrey fled back to the Red Keep. Tyrion urges his surviving men and Podrick's reinforcements to help him fight the invaders. He orders Ser Mandon Moore and Ser Boros Blount to join him in leading a sortie through the tunnels. Podrick accompanies Tyrion outside the walls. In the midst of battle, Ser Mandon attempts to murder Tyrion. Podrick kills Ser Mandon by shoving a spear through the back of his head, saving Tyrion's life. Tyrion thanks Podrick for saving his life. Podrick had the greatest sense of pride. Tyrion had saved Kings Landing and he saved Tyrion. Varys said only a few will know the truth of happened that night but that doesn’t make the act less heroic.

 

After the battle of Blackwater Lord Tywin informs Tyrion he is to wed Sansa Stark. He is unhappy but promises to watch over her. At that time Podrick swore he would too if only to himself. Podrick hears many stories about how smart Sansa is. Tyrion always talked about her with so much pride. He never really praised her beauty even though she was clearly attractive but he had praised her more for her intelligent.

 

Sansa was wary of Podrick at first. When she first spoke to him, he turns the most alarming shade of red. He didn’t do that for Queen Cersei Lannister, the future Queen Margaery Tyrell or Princess Myrcella Baratheon who were all beautiful but none of them had the same response as Lady Sansa did. This was not lost on Lord Tyrion but he said nothing.

 

After the king's death, Tyrion is charged with murder. Lady Sansa is no there to be found. Almost all say that she planned it all and ran away to frame Lord Tyrion. But Podrick knew enough about Lady Sansa that she would never do that. If she did plan the king’s death then she would have told Lord Tyrion and they both would have run away. He thinks whoever planned the Kings death just wanted to save Lady Sansa.

 

A day after Tyrion was taken to dungeon a man offers Podrick a knighthood and gold to say that he overheard Lord Tyrion and Lady Sansa planning the king’s death. He would never lie. But most of all he could ever do that to one of the few men in this world so how him such kindness. He refused and informed Lord Tyrion what had happened. He thanked him for his services and thanked him for saving is life but he will not be requiring for him to save his life a second time. Tyrion told him he was the most loyal squire he ever knew before releasing him from his services.

 

After Brienne is about to leave Kings Landing to locate and protect Lady Sansa, Ser Jamie Lannister asked if he could assign Podrick to act as her squire. Jaime insists that Podrick is not safe in King's Landing and this is a favor for Tyrion. Before Podrick departs with Brienne, Bronn gives him a gift from Tyrion. It is the axe Tyrion used during the Battle of the Blackwater. This was his first gift. On the road, Brienne tries to get rid of Podrick by releasing him from the vow he swore as her squire, but to no avail.

 

In a small inn, a young man informs them he last saw Arya alive and hints that she was being sought by the Hound. Podrick, having memorized the complex family trees of the Great Houses, suggests that they head to the Eyrie. Arya is going to see her aunt Lysa Arryn. On the way there they find Sandor Clegane. Brienne realizes the girl is none other than Arya Stark and tells her that she swore her mother to keep her safe. Sandor, seeing Brienne with a sword forged in a style typical of swords made for the Lannisters, refuses to hand over Arya to Brienne and believes that she is merely here for the bounty on his head. Brienne and Sandor engage in a vicious duel, while Podrick watches instead of keeping an eye on Arya. Brienne emerges victorious, but the two have lost sight of Arya.

 

When they fail to relocate Arya Podrick suggest they go to Castle Black and look for Lady Sansa. Brienne informs Podrick he is now hundreds of miles from the dangers of King's Landing and has no need to travel together anymore. But he wants to remain with Brienne as her squire in order to locate Lady Sansa. He made a vowel and he didn’t take it lightly. When they return to the inn, Podrick spots Petyr Baelish and Sansa Stark. Podrick informs Brienne that he is confident that the girl sitting with Petyr is Sansa. Although she has dyed her hair she is still a striking beauty.

 

He wonders if her dark hair made she looked more like her aunt Lyanna Stark. Sansa was always beautiful but her Tully blue eyes and red hair was the first few things to catch the eye. With her hair a dark brown almost black you focused more on her eye not just the color but how big they were then your eyes were drawn to her high cheekbones, small nose and finally her full lips. He wonders how much of her aunt Lyanna did she look like. She was so beautiful that she started a war. Lyanna was kidnapped by Prince Rhaegar Targaryen at the age of 14 almost the same age Sansa was then. Rhaegar was married to Princess Elia Martell of Dorne. She loved him and was loyal to him but it was not enough to stop Rhaegar.

 

Lady Sansa had refused Brienne and stayed with Petyr. Podrick was worried that Lady Sansa didn’t see him as worthy as a squire. He thought maybe she didn’t need him. Brienne had informed him that both Stark girls had refused their offer because they had _associated them both with the Lannister,_ the family who destroyed their family. And with their gold hanging from Brienne hip she couldn’t blame them. But she was determined to protect them even after being turned away Brienne still wanted to save her. Podrick was ashamed for his lack of determination.

 

After Brienne and Podrick helped save Sansa from Bolton soldiers, Brienne pledged her service to Lady Sansa. Podrick helps guide Sansa through her part of the pledge for Brienne services. He was so happy that Brienne's determination had paid off. As he watched them he hoped one day that his determination will also pay off and have Lady Sansa will accept his pledge of services.

 

He knows she has been through unspeakable things in her own home but she never truly lets it get to her. When Brienne had to change her bandages she never did cry or let out a loud whimper. She had fight back her tears. He remembers when Brienne first saw her back full of old and new scars she let out a gasp followed by “I am sorry my lady.” All she said was “you didn’t do it you have no reason to say sorry. Please hurry its cold.” Podrick could see the woman Tyrion respected. If she was half the woman Lyanna was in beauty or strength he could see why men would go to war for her hand. Sansa deserved a good husband, the kind of Lord that Brienne believed who was worth fighting for.

 

When they had escorted Sansa to her half-brother Jon Snow at Castle Black she became a different woman. She looked as if she had seen a ghost. He could only guess how much Jon looked like their father. When she jumped into his arms it was as if the weight of the world had left her shoulders. He vowed that day he would protect Sansa and one day he would be knighted by her or her Lord. He would be a knight as smart as Tyrion, as devoted in his convictions as Brienne and inspire loyalty like Jon Snow.

 

*********************************************

 

It felt like only a few minutes but it turned out to be almost a few hours in the Godwoods. They have been talking about their families, their past in Kings Landing and what kind of knight Podrick wishes to become one day. She didn’t notice the time until Podrick asked for the twelfth times if they should go back in. She just noticed how cold she was. Podrick had given her his cloak some time ago. She felt embarrassed that she made him stay out for so long in the cold.

 

“Yes, I think it’s long overdue we head back. Can you come back to my room and start a fire for me.” Sansa still wanted to talk to Podrick. And this way he too would warm up.

 

“Yes, my lady. I will start the fire right away” Podrick said shivering and red in the face but Sansa felt some of the redness was from him blushing.

 

“Thank you again Podrick.” Sansa said head led high. Sansa was in front of him but she could feel him blushing for his voice a slightly shaky. Yes, could have been because he was cold but it was a different tone than when they were talking about his childhood. “I am sorry my lady but like I said earlier but I have done nothing worthy of our praise”

  
Sansa stopped and turned around just before leaving the Godswood. She walked right in front of Podrick “I am saying thank you because what you have done so much and it seems very few people have said it. If you are going to continue to serve me you need to learn how valuable you are.” Podrick was as red as her hair and Sansa noticed how close she was. She took a step back.

 

Podrick bowed his head “I am not a knight yet but I will always serve you Lady Sansa if you will have me.” Sansa was happy what he said that but she was sad that he didn’t say Stark. She could feel herself frown.

 

They both knew that one day she would have to marry again and her name would change. When she was with him she didn’t need to think about the past or the future just live for the now. Why couldn’t she marry someone like Pod….It hit her. She could. ** _She could marry Podrick once he was knighted by Jon_**. Yes, Jon would have to marry someone from a Vale for an _alliance_ but they would come here. Sansa wouldn’t have to leave their home; Podrick had no lands or title just his last name. Sansa could stay in Winterfell and advice Jon. Why didn’t she this sooner? Why didn’t she notice Podrick sooner? _Podrick was perfect_. _He was the kind of man her father wanted to marry._ He was a match worthy of her. He is brave, gentle and strong. She knew she would love him, part of her felt like she already did. But more important he would love her for her and not as a replacement or for power.  They would need to look at choices for Jon before bring up her marriage to Podrick.

 

Sansa asked so cheerfully “Podrick you said that Tyrion informed you on how each house was formed? What ones got along? And who doesn't right?”

 

Podrick blushed before answering “yes my lady”

 

Sansa’s heart was beating so fast. She couldn’t help but think yes I will be your lady and you will be my husband we will be so happy. “Good I need you to help me write down everything you know so I can help find Jon a good match.” Sansa was almost run to her room with Podrick following close behind.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to have this done with the last update. But I had to be an adult and be responsible. Well I am glad that is over. I hope you like this chapter.


	9. History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe  
> 12 days after the Battle of the Bastard late afternoon to the evening

Sansa and Podrick rush back to her quarters. She passed Brienne and didn’t even hear her greet her until Podrick had informed Sansa. “I’m sorry Brienne. I didn’t see you”

 

“It’s alright my Lady. I imaged that you wanted to get back to your quarters.” She could see how much Sansa was shaking.

 

“Yes I would. Podrick I need you go to your quarters and change your attire. I don’t wish for you to fall ill.” She smiled at Podrick. “Then come back to my quarters. We will start writing down everything we know about the each family’s history in Westeros.”

 

“Yes my Lady.” Blushing Podrick bowed and rushed to his room.

 

Sansa and Brienne headed straight to her quarters. As soon as they entered Sansa went to change out of her wet dress. Brienne started a fire to warm up the room. “Brienne when you are done with the fire can you help me with the corset.”

 

“Yes my Lady” she walked behind the dressing screen to help Sansa. “My Lady your lips are almost blue. How long were you out in the Godwoods?”

 

“Long then I should’ve I fear, but being in the Godwood made me felt closer to my father.” Sansa knew she was worried about her condition and before Brienne could say anything she uttered “Although Podrick kept asking me if I wanted to go back inside, I dare say he asked 7 times.” She didn’t want to tell Brienne that is was more like 20. “What did Jon want to discuss with you?”

 

Brienne had untied about half Sansa corset before she spoke: “King Jon had told me he was planning on knighting me soon.” Sansa smiled she was very happy that Jon was fulfilling her request so soon. “Then King Jon asked if I thought Podrick is ready to be knighted. I told him that Podrick needs more training before he should be knighted. He still has a long way before he is a proper knight.”

 

“I see” Sansa was disheartened to think Podrick would not be Knight and her plan to marry him would be pushed back and that was fine. Podrick was not going anywhere and she still needs to talk to him about marrying her. She just noticed that she made her choice about marrying him without even asking him. She could feel herself blushing and she hated it. She has been forced to marry twice and she never wanted that to happen to her future husband. Although she hoped Podrick would not feel he was being forced into marrying her.

 

She wondered if that is how Jon will feel once he gets married. Maybe that is how Jon’s future wife will feel. Maybe she already loved another. At least she wanted to find Jon a good strong wife. They might not love each other at first. Very few marriages start out that way but they would care for another later on in life. He rejected marrying her and she understood why. But it didn’t lessen the rejection; she couldn’t imagine what she would do if Podrick rejected her. In just a matter of minutes, Podrick had shifted to her center of the world with Jon. All of her choices now are to make sure she and Jon stay in Winterfell together. And when Arya comes back she has a home with them. As Brienne finished with her corset she felt as if a weight was lifted off her shoulders. They said nothing more as Sansa finished getting dress Brienne could see Sansa was lost in thought. When Sansa was dressed and sitting by the fire she broke the silence. “I will need you go to the Maester room and grab some parchment along with a map.”

 

“Yes my lady” she bowed and walked out the room. Sansa looked around her room and thought about her parents. Jon gave her the Lord bedroom even though he was the King. Part of her thinks it’s because he didn’t still feel like he was worthy of this room. She wondered how much she looked like her mother in this room. There was a knock at her door. When she was a few steps from the door she stopped. She knew who was on the other side, it was Petyr. She didn’t want to answer but she knew she had to. “Good day Lord Baelish.” Sansa was so happy that Podrick was so fast to come back.

 

“Good day Squire Payne” Sansa could hear the smug tone in littlefinger. Sansa opened the door to face littlefinger. “Good day Lord Baelish”

 

“Good day Princess.” He eyed Sansa. Sansa knew she couldn’t flinch as he looked; she knew she would use him later. He still had too much power. She would use her charms to disarm him before taking everything away from him.

 

“How can I help you Lord Baelish?” Sansa tried her best to sound sweet.

 

“I have received a letter from your cousin. He missed you and wishes for you to write soon” Sansa knew that was not the real reason but for the time being this is best excuse.

 

“I will write to him by the end of morrow. There are some things I need to take care of for King Jon” Sansa could see Littlefinger cringe at that name. “Is there anything else Lord Baelish?”

 

“Princess Sansa maybe my services could be of use to you in the task King Jon has asked of you”

 

Sansa gives Littlefinger the most sincere smile she could. “Thank you Lord Baelish for your kind offer, but I will only be needlepoint a few things. Your services will not be needed today. I will be doing my needlepoint unaccompanied today. But I hope to see you later so we may talk about my cousin Robin future.” He knows if she has a pattern of unaccompanied events it won’t seem out of place for them to be alone. He had taught her that in the Vale. She knows that he wants to spend time alone with her just like in the Vale. She can’t tell Jon what she is doing with Littlefinger. He would only make her choices limited. This will be another secret she will be keeping from him.

 

Littlefinger looked very smug as he bows to Sansa. “I look forward to it Princess Sansa. I will take my leave.” Before he turned around to walk away he looks at Podrick whom back was turned to Sansa. “Squire Payne have you kept in touch with Genna, Marei or Kayla? I am sure they miss you?”

 

Sansa was a little heartbroken, she know they were all lady’s name. Podrick stiffen “I am sorry Lord Baelish I don’t recall any women who have those names.” Sansa couldn’t tell if he was lying and he doesn’t recall them or if Littlefinger is trying to create a wage. Did he know already of my plan Sansa thought to herself. How could he? I had just notice he was a perfect match. There is no way that he thought about Podrick.

 

Littlefinger had a very smug tone “It’s a pity they remember you.” Podrick eyes were red so this whole face was blushing. Sansa knew in her heart that they were prostitutes at Littlefinger’s brothels. Sansa could feel her face drain of all of the blood and when Lady Brienne came down the hallway the look on her face didn’t help. “Princess Sansa is everything ok?” Brienne only calls Sansa Princess when a Lord or Lady is close by so not be disrespectful. As Podrick turned around the redness had left his face.

 

“No Littlefinger was here. We need to hurry.” They all headed into Sansa quarters. Once the door was shut Sansa sat down. She didn’t think that the thought of Podrick having many prostitutes would affect her this way. Podrick poured her some wine to help calm her. “We are going to write down all of the information we know about each family in Westeros. Lord Baelish, unfortunately, knows more than anyone in the North. And as you know I don’t trust him. The one person who knows as much as him is Lord Varys.” She took a long sip of her wine.

 

Podrick smiled “Yes Tyrion was always talking about the game those two were playing.” Sansa could see Brienne stiffen at Tyrion name. Sansa was never truly sure how she felt about all of the Lannisters. She knew Brienne had a soft spot for Jamie. They never talked about him but when Jon had brought up his name a few times her face did light up.

 

“Brienne I will need you to stand outside to make sure no one hears what we are writing down. Podrick’s information about all of the families will be very important in choosing allies before and after the war. If Littlefinger came all the way down to see me it means he has a plan. I don’t want him to know what we are doing. I know Littlefinger has spies inside of Winterfell and we need to be careful. I need someone I trust guarding the door.”

 

“Yes my lady I will be outside your door.” Brienne bowed and headed out the door.

 

Sansa could see the look on Podrick face but it was replaced with his goofy smile “Please tell me why you think it’s a wrong choice to send her outside.”

 

Podrick smiled. “No, I am glad you explained why it is important for her to stand outside. Sometimes…. It’s not my place my lady”

 

Sansa smiled “yes it is. You are one of my advisors and your input is very important.”

 

“I didn’t think you thought so highly of me. I am only repeating what others have told me. I don’t think I am a worthy advisor.”

 

Sansa let out a small sigh “I will not have to speak ill of one of my advisors. True you are repeating what others have told you but you remember it all. I don’t think I could even if I tried which is why I asked for parchment. You treat Lady Brienne like a true knight. Besides the woman and men at Bear Island there not many who look at her like a true knight. She trusts your council and I trust her. So why wouldn’t I trust you?”

 

Podrick goofy smile grew “I had a feeling that Lady Brienne was feeling less and less a knight. She has been looking for you for a long time. Then once we found you she took you to her brother. She is protecting you but she couldn’t persuade Arya to accept her protection. Her task is not completed.”

 

Sansa sighed “I rejected hers and your protection at first too. But she never gave up. I know my sister is alive. She is so much stronger than I am. Arya will make her way back. Or maybe you both will be sent off to find her. My sister wouldn’t want to be a lady she would want to be a warrior like Brienne. So when you are knighted Arya will be her new squire or maybe Brienne will go to Bear Island to help train the women there.”

 

“Thank you, Lady Sansa, for saying I will be knighted.” Podrick was blushing at his own words. Sansa wondered how a sweet man such as Podrick couldn’t have anyone in this. Then she remembered what little finger said. Did he have so many prostitutes he couldn’t keep track of names? She was sure Tyrion was that way. Did he pass on that habit to Podrick? If so what happens when he was on the road with Brienne? Sansa had no many questions she wanted to ask him.

 

“My Lady should we start” Podrick has a lesser smile than before as if he could read her mind.

 

Sansa smiled “Yes. I know that right now Lord Baelish has many wards. The first one is my cousin Robin Arryn and the current Lord of the Vale. And his second ward I knew of was Harrold Hardyng from House Waynwood. Most people in the Vale know him better as Harry the heir. If something was to happen to Robin then Harry would be the new Lord of the Vale.” Sansa sighed she knew that Robin or Harry would die most likely die. Robin was a sick little boy and Harry was an unruly sort of man with two known bastard children. She can’t see Littlefinger having an unpredictable Lord in control.

 

“I remember Lord Tyrion talking about the unfortunate souls who were Baelish new wards. They were the sons of Lord Grafton and Lord Lynderly.”

 

Sansa wrote down the names and looked on the map where their houses were. She could see the houses were all on the river. “I think we should also write down where they are located on the map. I am not sure if this is a spare map.”

 

As they are writing down all of the new information, Sansa stops and looks a Podrick. Sansa wanted to ask Podrick a few the question of who the women that Littlefinger named off but part of her didn’t want to know the answer. She knew that Podrick was a squire for Tyrion and he would frequent brothels because they never consummated as man and wife. But she knows that if she didn’t ask she couldn’t focus on writing down the information.

 

“The names that Littlefinger said, were they admires of your?” Sansa asked very cautiously. Podrick was very still. He didn’t ever look up from the parchment.

 

Podrick turned a bright shade of red “mm.. my lady. W-what do you mean?”

 

She knew she has to ask without any doubt what she meant. “Were they prostitutes at his brothels?” He couldn’t look at her. She had her answer. They were prostitutes. Sansa's heart sank to her stomach. She knew she had no right to be upset with him. She had just thought about marrying him. She only knew a few things about him before deciding on that. Her own father had sex with a woman when he was married. Podrick was not hers and it might have been when she was married to Tyrion when he visited them.

 

Podrick was quiet for some time before answering in a hushed voice “I was only there once.”

 

Sansa was disappointed but at the same time, she was very pleased. He was only there once but Little finger had given three names. Did he really have sex with three different women at once? Was he there all day? Why would they miss him if it was only once? Was he lying? When she looked back up Podrick looked like a scolded child. He reminded her of Arya, Rickon or Jon so much that she didn’t notice her left hand on top of his left hand to comfort him. He tried to pull away but instantly she grabbed a tighter hold. They both notice what had just happened and yet they didn’t let go. Sansa didn’t know if it was out of fear or her own desires why her hand was still on his. When she loosened her grip his hand didn’t move.

 

Podrick had no clue why she moved her hand to his, but he didn’t care. This was a miracle. Princess Sansa Stark was holding his hand. She has all of the qualities that an every queen should have. She is beautiful, kind, smart, fair and came from noble blood. Podrick knew this was wrong. Unless you are her husband you shouldn’t be holding her hand. But her hands were so soft and warm. He wished he would never have to let go of her hand. Her hand fits in his like it's made for him. She had taken away all of his sadness from his past. Not getting to know his parents, moving from house to house to those who only wanted to him because of his father’s last name. She didn’t care about his last name if only she has a more powerful last name along with her mother maiden name. He thought to himself hold my hand and don't ever let go.

 

All that was left was hope. Hope that he would always remain near this warmth. Hope that he could become the kind of protector she needs. He knew it was wrong but he moved his pinky over hers. She trembled slightly but she moved her pinky over his. They said nothing as they finished writing moving their pinkies over one another. Soon the rest of the finger followed suit. His fingers laced with hers, their palms kissing. She could feel his quicken heartbeat thought his wrist. It felt like an eternity holding each other’s hand and it was still too short. Nothing in this world compares to the feeling.

 

Then there was a knock at the door that both made them jump. Sansa had let go of Podrick hand was she heard Jon voice “Sansa I am coming in”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to update a few weeks ago but I wanted to take my story in a different direction......


	10. Diplomacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe  
> 12 days after the Battle of the Bastards - evening  
> Sansa POV the night before Twins letter
> 
> 13 days after the Battle of the Bastards- morning and day of the Twins letter

As Jon entered Sansa and Podrick both raised and bowed to Jon “Good day your Grace”.

 

Jon had one of his rare smiles “I told you both to just call me Jon.” But shortly he could see them both flustered and red. He became his normal stoic self “it’s inappropriate for a lady to have a man in her quarter unsupervised”

 

“Well Littlefinger was here earlier and I didn’t think it was wise to leave the door unsupervised.” Jon hated Littlefinger and wanted to kill him or send him away but Sansa told him sending him away would do more harm. At least with him near they could see what he was planning.

 

“What are you writing down” Jon's voice was cold. It didn’t help that Podrick looked guilty.

 

“We are writing down all we know. We are focusing on the families and their history for now. We will need allies soon and we will need more after the war. Even if they are not our allies we won’t want them as enemies. Because of the war of the Five Kings, a lot has changed. We need to make wise choices.”

 

“Good. I don’t like you being unsupervised with a man in your quarters.” Jon looked at Podrick who looked even guiltier. “I would like Brienne to be here next time. I know you can’t write down the history of Westeros in just one day.”

 

“Of course your grace,” Sansa said a teasing manner. “Will there be anything else?”

 

Jon looked so disheartened at the comment. “I don’t want you to be unsupervised. Many men have died in their own homes.” Jon walked over to Sansa “Robb was killed at his own wedding. I just want you to be safe. You are my reason to continue.” He then kissed her forehead. She is safe and loved. She hopes that one day she could feel like that with Podrick. She sees Podrick who is embarrassed for see this intimate moment with Jon turn away. Jon just smiles at Sansa as she becomes the same color as her hair “the cooks are preparing your favorite creamed turnips.”

 

Sansa sighed “If you are looking to tease me that won’t work. I really do like creamed turnips. It’s Arya who hates them.”

 

Jon smiled “I know. I asked for them to prepare them for you along with sweet bread and roasted ham too”

 

Sansa can only think about when Arya had flung the creamed turnips at her face when they were last all together. She was sad until she remembered when Jon had to take Arya from the dining hall and smiling at how she looked. Sansa knew she was blushing because of the smile on Jon’s face. How can Jon make her so embarrassed in front of Podrick? “I will need to put these away before dinner. Now, will you please leave my quarters.”

 

“That is no way to speak to your King.” Jon had a slightly bigger smile.

 

“I did say please Jon” Sansa smirked at him. She could feel her heart calming down and her face getting cooler. But Podrick was getting redder. Why was he so embarrassed? Was the way they talk so embarrassing? Both men bowed to Sansa before leaving the room. She waited for the ink to dry but it had long been dried. How long were they holding hands? It felt like a few moments but clearly, it was long. Maybe it dried when Jon was talking. No, it couldn’t have been that long. Jon was only there a few minutes it’s couldn’t be longer than that. She sat down on her bed in hopes to quiet her mind. She wished for once her mind could quiet itself, thinking about Jon and Podrick was too much for today.

 

As she sat on the bed she saw a stone what was off. There was a stone slightly forward. As she touches the stone it moves. It is much lighter than she thought it would be. This would be a perfect place to hide the notes but there is something hidden inside already. There are many books in this small space. She grabs one book and as she opens it. It turned out to be a journal and she knew the handwriting. It was her mothers. She reads the first page. I hate it here. It is so cold. I miss Riverrun every day. She closed the book. She can’t read about her mother right now. She then places the parchment inside and moves the stone back into place. She will read the journals later tonight. But first, she will have cream turnips with Jon.

 

At dinner Tormund tells the story about how he loves a strong woman and Brienne is clearly trying not to noticed his stares at her. Jon and her talk about the stories Old Nan told to them. At the end of the night, Sansa had forgotten all about her mother’s journals. She is content to see a genuine smile on Jon.

 

*******

  
Sansa had a dream about her mother or a woman who looked enough like her to think about her. She had looked so much like her but her face was gray, her clothing was tattered and she was so violent. Her mother couldn’t do the things that woman did. She wanted to yell at her to stop what she was doing but all she could see was angry red eyes. When she woke up she was confused. Her room was so very warm but the dream sent chills down her spine that didn’t leave for hours. She didn’t remember what happened after or before that woman turned around. The dream felt so real. She had told Brienne she wanted to eat in her room. She has one of the ladies from House Manderly help her get dress. She is most likely trying to earn favor with her. Jon would need a queen soon. “Is it too tight Princess Sansa?” The young maiden asked as she tighten Sansa’s corset.

 

“No it’s just fine. Thank you. That will be all. I can finish the rest. I will meet you in the sewing room later this morning” Sansa forget that Jon is King and he has named her his heir. She is Princess Sansa. She had told Brienne and Podrick to keep calling her Lady Sansa because it still brings up bad memories at the Red Keep. That one day she would be Joffrey queen. Podrick tried to hide his laughter but to no avail. She remembers what he said “King Jon just wants to be called Jon. Not is grace, his highness or King Jon just Jon. You are Princess Sansa and you just want to be Lady Sansa or just Sansa. The Starks are not like other families are they.” Brienne had hit Podrick for speaking to Sansa that way. “Well, maybe that is why the North has always followed us because we are not like other house. Even though some other house could be the Lord of Winterfell or King in the North they chose to follow a Stark. Jon was not born a Stark but he has the Stark blood.” Sansa could only smile when she thought about the Podrick.

 

The young lady bowed to Sansa “Thank you, Princess Sansa. I look forward to seeing you again.” As she leaves Sansa remembers the journals. She wonders if her mother made this hiding spot or if it was there since Brandon the Builder. She grabs the first journal from the hiding place and sits down at the table. She rereads the first page.

 _I hate it here. It is so cold. I miss Riverrun every day. I miss Brandon._ She remembers that her mother was first betrothed to her uncle. _Did she really love him? How did that love compare to the love she had for her father?_ She continues to read. _He has not been dead a month and now my new betrothal is his brother Eddard. It is distasteful to his memory I don’t even know him. I had no reason to and I **know** he loves another. I can see it in his eyes. _ Sansa understands the feeling about being passed around from Lord to Lord but she can’t image her mother not loving her father. _Was it time that changed them? Or was it something else? Was the woman that father loved Jon’s mother? And if not who was the other woman? How many women did her father love? _She continues to read. B _ut war is upon us._ Alliance _must be formed and marriage is the quickest way to form them. Family, Duty, Honor._

There is a knock at the door. “It is I Podrick. I have your food.” She places the book down and walks to the door to open it for Podrick. “Where is Brienne?”

 

“King Jon asked to see her. She ordered me to make sure you get your breakfast.” He walked passed her and he placed the food on the table.

 

Sansa sat down before the food. “Is that wise King Jon ordered me not to be unsupervised with a man in my quarters i-” Podrick looked embarrassed and hurt by the comment.

 

Podrick looked like a scolded child. “I am sorry Princess Sansa if”

 

“I didn’t mean it to be hurtful Podrick just a joke.” Podrick has not called Sansa princess in privet in a long time. What could have changed? “After breakfast, I would like to go to the Godwoods before heading to the sewing room. I would like to pray. Then later today I would like to finish writing down your valuable information about the families. Have you had anything to eat?” She offered some bread. But Podrick just shocked his head. “I already had something Princesses Sansa.”

 

Sana knew she would have to be direct with him. “Podrick, why did you call me Princess Sansa today? I know it’s my title but you always called me Lady Sansa in my quarters or when it’s just us. I have tried to have you call me just Sansa but you said it was improper. Why did today different?” Sansa studied Podrick’s face he looked as if he wanted to say something. Then it hit her. _Jon must have said something._ _Jon is unknowingly building a wall between her and Podrick._ “I don’t know what Jon sa-“

 

“No Princess. King Jon has said nothing to me. No one has said anything to me.” Sansa could tell he was lying.

 

“I don’t know what happened but can you please stop calling me princess in private. And yes that is a request from the Princess. Podrick I would love it if you called me just Sansa. But I know you won’t so please call me Lady Sansa again.”

 

Podrick smiled “yes my Lady.” Sansa had a flutter in her stomach almost like a bat was inside of her. She loved it when Podrick called her my lady. It felt like she was really his lady already if only in her heart.

 

Sansa wanted Podrick to talk more. His voice was very soothing to her. “While I finish my breakfast can you tell me anything about the Southern house? Like the Martells. Don’t think the Martell will join our case but I wouldn’t want them to fight against us either. Yes, they are far from us but they are closer to the people who we will be trading with this winter. ”

 

“Well just like the Starks the Martells have very loyal house. They had ties with the Targaryen before Princess Elia Martell met her demise by the Mountain.” Sansa could sense his sadness. She had seen that monster close. She had seen what he did to his own blood the Hound.

 

“I can understand why Prince Oberyn Martell offers to be Tyrion's champion in a trial by combat. He wanted to kill the Mountain. He couldn’t save his sister but at least he could bring her killer to justice.” Sansa looked down at her plate but she could still feel Podrick’s eyes on her. “My father went to war for his sister. She died before coming home. My brother Robb went to war for me and Arya, to bring us home. But he died before coming home and we don’t know where Arya is. Jon went to war with Ramsey to keep me safe. **_Brothers will always come to their sisters rescues it seems._** ” When she looked up she could see that Podrick face had softened. “Please continue. I remember Oberyn was kind to me and I was saddened to hear he had passed.”

 

“House Martell's sigil is a red sun pierced by a golden spear, on an orange field, a combination of the original Martell Sigil a yellow spear and the emblem of Princess Nymeria a red sun to symbolize the marriage of the warrior-queen to Mors Martell. House Martells words are Unbowed, unbent, unbroken. The Martells were never conquered by the Targaryens they only became loyal to the Iron Throne through marriages. But the last 30 years really have been tricky. House Dalt of Lemonwood has Wild lemons on a purple field for house sigil. Lemonwood is the seat of House Dalt, loyal vassals of the Martells. It lies just south of the Planky Town. The Manwoodys of Kingsgrave has a crowned skull for their house sigil. Their castle is located in the northwest of Dorne near the border with the Stormlands.”

 

Sansa placed her fork down. “That is amazing Podrick that you know all of that. I dare say there might be many Lords in the Red Keep that would know that entire information let alone at top of their head.”

 

Podrick blushed “Thank you, my Lady.”

 

“I think it's ok to leave my plate here. I would like to go to the Godwood before meeting with the other ladies.” Podrick just bowed his head. Sansa walked passed him swinging her hips slightly more than normal as they walked to the Godwood.

 

They were there not as long as they were there yesterday but it was a good amount of time. This time she didn’t talk to Podrick for she was embarrassed she swung her hips for him from her quarter to the Godwood. What would Jon think if he knew she had done that? What would he have done or said to Podrick? Why was this so hard? She had done something similar for Littlefinger but for Podrick it was different. She could play Littlefinger so easily. She was normally so up front with Jon. Why couldn’t she be more like when she is with Jon so confident. She must be so confusing to him. One moment she is seductive then the next she is quiet.

 

“Lady Sansa. It’s colder than yesterday. Maybe we should head in soon”

 

Sansa was happy that Podrick was showing more candidness than this morning “I think you are right.” Sansa as stood up she had seen Podrick's lips were slightly bleeding. She reached out to touch them but he leaned back.

 

“I’ll be fine my Lady.” Sansa took her Stark gray handkerchief and was about to place it to Podricks lips. “No my Lady, it’s inappropriate.” He was lost is her striking clear sky blue eyes. This head was in the clouds was she continued to move her hand corner of his full lips. He closed his eyes. She could feel his breath on her hand, it made her hand tremble. He placed his hand on hers. Her hand felt like it was on fire. His breathing slowly became slightly erratic as smell her handkerchief.

 

Anyone could walk in and see Princess Sansa in a compromising position with a lowly squire in the Godwoods but she didn’t care. All she could do was lean into him more. Their bodies were less than an inch apart. She wondered once they were married would there still be this fire between them. They have only held each other’s hand and it's making her tremble. She has held Jon’s hand many times and it’s never done this to her. Only one other man had even come close to making her feel like this.

 

Podrick understood why people hold hands. It is about speaking without words. You are saying so much by doing so little. Holding hands tight and you know everything will be alright. Podrick breathing became calmer. He opened his beautiful large russet eyes. She was looking at her future. Once they were married she would never have to fear leaving Winterfell. She would never have to leave Jon. She would never have to fear what her husband would do. He is honorable, kind, brave, gentle and strong like her father, Robb and Jon. He is the kind of man her father wanted to marry. She doubts she could find anyone better. She just wants to be loved and safe. She knew Podrick could give her that and she would love him because she was already falling for him. In just a matter of days, she had let her wall down and let him in her heart. Maybe he has always been breaking down her wall since Kingslanding. And it’s just now she notice. He didn’t even know what power he had over her.

 

He lowered their hand away from his blushing face. “Thank you, Princess Sansa.” He felt after such an intimate moment he needed there to be some formality. “You are too kind Princess.”

 

Sansa didn’t want this moment to end. As Podrick released his hold of Sansa she pushed back. The only thing between their hands was the handkerchief. “You should keep this.”

 

“No Princess. This is yo-“

 

Sansa was holding the middle and placed it into Podrick’s hand. “You will keep it. It is my token to you.” His eyes widen as he took the handkerchief and carefully folded it and put in his pocket. Sansa smiled at him. “I think we should head back in before we come ill.” Podrick eyes were still wide as he nodded. Then Podrick whispered “My Lady please wear my cloak until we are inside. Your lips are almost blue.”

  
All Sansa could do was nodded as he placed his cloak over her. It was so warm and it smells of him. She wondered if she would feel like this when cloaks her and she is under his protection. “Thank you Podrick” then they make their way back to the entrance of the Godwood. As Sansa and Podrick are entering the castle they run into Little Finger.

 

“Princess Sansa” Littlefinger bows.

 

“Lord Baelish” Sansa didn’t want to see him. She wanted to send him away. She didn’t want him to have any power. She wanted to kill him. But she knew killing him would cause too many problems for now. She needed to keep him here where he will do the least amount of damage.

 

“Squire Payne you need to be more careful. La- Princess Sansa lips are almost blue” he raised his hands slightly but stopped. He wants to go back to the days when he could touch her lip. Podrick looked very troubled with Littlefinger forwardness with her.

 

“It's not squire Podrick fault. I didn’t notice how long I was praying. Lord Baelish” Sansa could see Brienne was walking toward them. She was so grateful.

 

Littlefinger loved how Sansa looked in the snow with her face lights up. She looked almost as beautiful as her mother. “Robin wrote to me again. He can’t way to hear from you soon. He is very worried about your well-being. You are one of his last family members.” Then he notices that Podrick cloak is on Sansa.

 

Brienne bowed to them both. “Princess Sansa. Lord Baelish. King Jon has requested to see you, Princess, as soon as possible.”

 

“Excuses me Lord Baelish his grace has requested my presence.” She didn’t bow to him. She turned to Brienne before she finished speaking to him. She heard “Good day Princess Sansa” off into the distance.

 

As they walked to Jon solar Brienne notice that Sansa was shaking and then her discolored lips. “My Lady your lips are almost blue.” Then she notices that Podrick’s cloak is on Sansa. She gave Podrick frightening look.

 

Before Podrick could say a word Sansa turned to look at Brienne. “I was in the Godwood to help clear my mind. Squire Podrick asked me several times if I wanted to go back but I was not ready. I didn’t notice how long we were out there. Podrick listened to my request to stay there for so long. He had given me his cloak to help keep me warm until I was ready to leave.” She knew that Brienne was going to lecture Podrick about it later but it was not his fault. He was just following her orders. Then Sansa asked “Do you know why Jon has asked for my presence?”

 

Brienne had cleared her throat “King Jon would like for you to hear it from him, my Lady.” That was not good. Sansa's stomach was in knots. When they had reached Jon solar Ser Davos was the one to let them in. He could see her shaking still from the cold. He bowed “Princess Sansa would you like to sit by the fire?” Sansa knew this was a big announcement. It was quiet and the room was thick with tension.

 

“Thank you Ser Davos, I would appreciate that.” As she was about to sat down she remembered that she still had Podrick cloak on her. She hurried to take it off to hand it back to Podrick. “Thank you, Squire Payne for the use of your cloak until we reached the castle.” What would Jon think about her now? The princess was walking around the castle with a man’s cloak. This could be scandalous. “Why did you ask to see me, Jon?” What could the announcement be? She had brought up marriage proposal maybe one if not all of the Lords have brought it to his attention there are two unmarried Starks in Winterfell and war is upon on us.

 

As Sansa was sitting by the fire to get warm Jon spoke: “There was an assassin at the twins.” Sansa was not saddened by the news she was pleased with this news as should everyone in the room. They had killed many noble Northern men at Robb wedding. So why was there soo much tension in the room?

 

“A raven came today. With a note” Ser Davos had handed Sansa the parchment. She read aloud “You are nothing but a bastard. I will come for you for all you have done to my family. This is only but a taste.” She stops reading and looks a Jon. He still has the same stoic look on his face.

 

“When was the assassin? It could have been done by someone loyal to the Starks. This is most likely to have been meant for Ramsey.”

 

“They are fucking cunts for not writing their name. They are fucking cunts for not killing them sooner. They are fucking cunts for not killing the Lannisters when they were there” Tormund hit the table a few times.

 

“The Lannisters were there. Who was for certain killed?” Sansa asked.

 

“We know many Frays were killed but we don’t know for sure.” Ser Davos said in a calm tone.

 

“We need to know for sure. Walder Frey had many wives. He had many children. The line of succession will unclear.” Sansa said looking at Jon.

 

“Why should we fucking care who is the lord of the fucking twins?” Tormund took a long gulp of wine.

 

Podrick answered before anyone could “the last thing we need in a meaningless war close to the North.”

 

“That is not the only reason why we need to go to the Twins. We need to see how much damaged is done and if you are able to take back the twins. We will need the bridge before the long night if we are to survive it. And we need them to get the rest of the Stark bones along with their bannermen. They need to be properly buried like Rickon.” Jon looked at Sansa how was shaking. He didn’t know if she was still cold or if it the thought of the family who is gone.

 

“Yes, we need to bury Robb and my mother. I am sure the rest of the Northern houses would approve to have their loved one bones back. It would also be a sign of power for the North.” Sansa said looking at Jon.

 

“Princess Sansa is right” Littlefinger entered the room bowing to Sansa. Bowed to Jon and in a cold voice said "Your grace. You called for me?” Sansa knew he hated to be treated like a common dog to heel when told.


	11. Sleepless Beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe  
> 12 days after the Battle of the Bastards- Evening  
> Jon POV the night before the Twin's Letter.

Jon wakes up in a cold sweat in a room similar to his childhood room, it's Robb’s old room. He is still shaking from his dream. It was about the crypts again. He has had many dreams about being at the door to the crypts looking down the spiraling steps down into blackness. But this time he was inside the crypts.

 

Somehow he has always known he has to go down there, but he doesn't want to. He was afraid of what might be waiting for him. He spends as little time down here as possible. The old Stark Kings of Winter are down there, sitting on their thrones with stone wolves at their feet and iron swords across their laps. It is a traditional sign that the King or a Lord is denying guest right.

 

In the dream he was running, climbing the tower three steps at a time, screaming for someone, for anyone. He felt the walls descend with each step. Then he stopped in his tracks, there were the stone statues of the Kings of Winterfell. He was screaming “I’m not a Stark, that this isn’t my place.” But Jon could feel it was no use. Then the floor started to collapse beneath him. He had to get out but he couldn’t remember where to go. He didn’t remember this part of the crypts. With no torch to light, the way it was gets darker and darker with each step.

 

Then he saw a small fire in the distance. He wants to scream but his voice was lost. The light got smaller and small until it was gone. Then he heard the scrape of stone on stone. Something was coming. That is when Jon woke up. Jon couldn’t shake his deep sense of terror he dared not go back to sleep. He needs to calm his mind. He walked over the table to pours himself a cup of wine and drank it in one gulp. Then he refills his cup. The room is as cold as the crypts and it’s an unsettling feeling after his dream. He places a few more logs on the fire to warm up the room.

 

As the fire grows it reminds him of Sansa. There are a few flames that are the same color as her hair. He thinks about how much she had endured and she never let the fire within her die. He wonders if Sansa has nightmares about Kings Landing or what that bastard did to her. Maybe it was wrong to give her that room. That was mostly likely the room he….. Jon can’t finish that thought. He never wants to image what that sick fuck did to her there. He downs the wine once more. He will ask if she wants to change rooms with him later today. He just wants her to be safe and happy. She was his hopes for the future survival of Winterfell. She would be the one to ensure it prospers during and after the long winter. She was also his greatest fears, that he would not be able to save her like Rickon. She is his responsibly now and his main objection.

 

But he knew she wouldn’t be his responsibility for too long. Her word echo in his mind “My marriage will ensure our survival in winter and with the undead.” She knew she would have to sacrifice her happiness for Winterfell. He wants her to marry for love and happiness after everything she has been though. He would do everything in his power to keep her safe and near him. For the day she leaves his side is the day he would be truly alone again.

 

He then thinks about the letter that sick fuck sends to Castle Black. Everyone in that room was threatened with death but all he could think about when she grabbed my hand between your fingers are where I feel the strongest in the world. He knew that Winterfell could be taken back. Find house to plague loyalties were difficult but they found those who would be loyal to House Stark until the end.

 

On the battle when I thought I was going to die the first face that came to mind was your Sansa. I felt like needed her like I needed air to breathe. He knew he needs to go on a walk to help clear his mind if he was going fall back asleep. As he stepped out he saw Emmett Mazin a bannermen from House Mazin. He felt so much better-knowing someone was standing guard outside of Sansa room. He left better knowing it was someone from either from House Mormont, House Hornwood or House Mazin.

 

Jon ends up at the Maester Addison room without much thought. He didn’t knock but Maester Addison opened the door as if he was expecting him. “Good evening King Jon.”

 

“Good evening Maester Addison. Didn’t mean to wake you I just went on a walk.”

 

Maester Addison just smiled and shook his head “No I don’t sleep for an extended amount of time. I have been expecting you to come by.” Addison moved to the side making room for Jon to enter his room.

 

Jon walked into his room with a confused look on his face. “Why would you be expecting me?”

 

As he shut the door he turned to Jon. “I know you are having nightmares.”

 

“How did you know I have been having nightmares?”

 

“It’s not uncommon for warriors to have nightmares after battles. Most are about battlefield and death. I wrote to Master Luwin about some of the same issues my Lord had after the Greyjoy Rebellion. Even though we own the war, it brought back memories about Robert's Rebellion. He wrote to me that your father would go to each one of his children room to help clear his mind. I thought since you have no wife or children that Princess Sansa would be the one to help you calm your nightmares. And that is why you had guards outside of Princess Sansa’s room. You after everything you have been through the last two months I was surprised you don’t come to me sooner.”

 

Jon didn’t want to think about almost dying several times, coming back to life after being dead for a few day after being betrayed from those who he called brother. Then fighting to keep his new friends alive and keeping Sansa safe. “Aye, just knowing that someone is guarding her when she sleeps does help my mind.” Jon smiled

 

“Most lords don’t like taking milk of the poppy during a war unless they can’t sleep for more than a week and they are in a safe location. But we are in a safe location and you do need sleep. If you don’t want to take milk of the poppy I suggest seeing Princess Sansa sleep. Seeing her sleep knowing she is safe with your own eyes will help more.”

 

Jon raised his voice “why would I do that? What if she wakes up what will I say to her?"

 

“She won’t wake up my Lord. She takes milk of the poppy every night since I have been here. I know she is in a deep sleep. After everything she has been though she needs help falling asleep.”

 

”She takes milk of the poppy?” of course she would. After everything she has been through, even men would take it.

 

“Yes but lately I have lessened the dose. I think she will still need to take it for some time but I do believe one day she will no longer need it.” Jon smiled knowing that Sansa would be better one day. “I suggest that you go and see her. Seeing that she is safe and going a guard check and maybe seeing her again will help put you at ease. You will get to a deeper sleep sooner. Emmett is guarding her right. He will understand if you go into her room. He was the one to guard my Lord's children a few months after the Greyjoy Rebellion. I am sure he won’t say anything to you if you don’t say anything to him. But if you ask him a question about how his lord and how he deals with nightmares I am sure he will give valuable counsel.”

 

Jon felt better that he was not the first to experience this feeling. He felt even more relieved that his father would check on him when he slept. “Aye, I think I will do that. Thank you, Maester Addison.”

 

“Glad to be of services your grace.”

 

Jon nodded and walked out the room straight to Sansa’s room. He became lighter with each step almost floating. Maester Addison was right; Sansa will be the one to calm the storm within him. As he reached Sansa’s room Emmett Mazin nodded and stepped aside with empathetic eyes. He knew why he was there to see Sansa. As he shut the door her heavenly aroma a mix of lavender, rosemary and honey hit him. Then he saw her, the sleeping beauty. Her bright red hair was out of the furs. She looked like a dying fire and he heart jumped at the thought of the fire dying. As he took a step closer he noticed how cold her room was. It was warm for him but for Sansa, the Winterfell rose it needs to be warmer. He added more logs to the fire.

 

He wondered if seeing a young Sansa sleeping gave their father such tranquil calm as he has now. She looks so small and fragile in her bed and yet she gives me strength. I am still thankful for the Old Gods bringing you to me when I needed you the most. Listening to the rhythm of her breathing was soft, steady and magical. She was the greatest treasure in Winterfell. He reaches out to touch her hair but he stops. It’s not right to touch her when she sleeps. Part of him aches at the thought of her being so close yet so untouchable. No man who is not worthy of you won’t touch you again. I killed that monster so he wouldn’t ever touch you again. I'll protect you, I promised. And that is a promise I will keep.

 

He thought about the last time he was holding her hand; he was reminded that I'm not alone in this world. She moved slightly and he froze. If she woke up what could he say? I was worried someone was in your room when you sleeping so I came here to make sure no one was watching you sleep. He laughed at the expiration in his head. He wonders how long he has been standing over Sansa. It must be too long. I need to see that the castle is safe for her. As he is about to leave he looks at Sansa once more. Because the room had gotten warm she pulled down the furs slightly. He wants to touch her face but he can’t bring himself to do so.

 

As he leaves Sansa’s room Emmett Mazin nodded again and spoke “Your grace. Is the princess sleeping soundly?”

 

“Aye she is.” Jon could feel himself smiling

 

“If I can be so bold, the princess tends to sleep more soundly when you visit her before bed. I believe your present helps her and I believe her presence will help you. I am sorry if ov-”

 

“No Ser Mazin that was not too bold. It helps knowing I can bring her peace. I will return” Jon walked down the dark hallway. His step got heavier and heavier but only to bring him back down to earth. There is still a good amount of knights who are up and even much more wildlings up. When he was the East gate he overheard a conversation between two young men .

 

“Come on Arthur you can’t tell me it’s not fucking weird that King Jon first went to the fucking wall in the first place. Even if he is a bastard, he is Ned Strak’s bastard son. How many bastards do you know who know how to read? How many of them get along with their trueborn siblings? When Ned left to Kings Landing Robb was the Lord of Winterfell. And from what I could tell they got along. So why the hell would King Jon leave here to go to the wall?”

 

Arthur shook his head “it’s not our pla-”

 

“Piss off. He is not here. He is asleep in his room. There are only a few reasons to leave Winterfell when Ned left. First is he is not Ned bastard son and that is why Robb sent him away because he is not a true Stark. Second is because he fell in love with his sister Princess Sansa and he couldn’t be parted from her. So when she left he left Winterfell because everything here reminded him of her. And that is why she has the lords’ bedroom even though he is the King of the North. Thrid he fell in love with another sibling with red-”

 

Arthur shouted “Mikael” he looked around before finishing “you need to stop. Someone will take it as slander. Remember what happened to Ned he found out. That turned out to be true and he lost his head. I can only imagine what would happen to you if anyone overheard that you were suggesting that they were in the same as the Lannisters.”

 

“Then why would King Jon give Princess Sansa the room and take King Robb old room? Even that wildling man said he has a thing for red hair. King Jon just laughed. Even when he was covered is shit. It’s too cold for mud. King Jon didn’t care he was covered in shit. He was happy, he was laughing. He didn’t say shit about being covered in shit. He laughs only in the company of red heads.”

 

“Look Mikael I don’t know what happened to make King Jon leave Winterfell, but he is a good King. He died for the wildlings. The crows were wrong and he did what was right. He is a true Stark. He has seen battle. So he will not be careless with our lives like other lords. And the only family he has left is Princess Sansa. He will keep the North safe at the very least her. I could care less what happened in the past. As long as he keeps the North safe and keeps Princess Sansa in plain view even after she is married. I will follow him. By the Gods, she is a beauty. If I was to marry her she could keep her name. Do you think if I told King Jon that would he give us this blessing?”

 

Mikael sighed “Princess Sansa is too good for you. Hell King Jon is too good for you. He is prettier than most of the Ladies who have come to Winterfell in hopes to court him.” Arthur laughs “Do you think King Jon has ever given or gotten the lords kiss?”

 

“Seven hells Mikael”

 

“Arthur don’t tell me you don’t know what the Lord's kiss is?”

 

Arthur sighed “I know what a Lord's kiss is Mikael.”

 

Mikael raised his left eyebrow “So what Lord gave yo-”

 

“Fuck off. Mikael” Arthur shoved Mikael.

 

Mikael grabs Arthur arse. “If King Jon has a thing for redheads you are more his type.”

 

Arthur punches Mikael hard enough for him to let go of his ass. “Piss off Mikael. You have a bigger arse than I. And you are to one saying King Jon is prettier than most of the ladies in Winterfell. Well besides Princess Sansa. Are you hoping to get a Lord's kiss from him?”

 

“I would rather be giving a Lord's kiss. Maybe that’s why Squire Payne dye his hair. Maybe he is a natural red head. And with an arse like his, I wouldn’t want too much attention either.” Mikael laughs

 

“How do you know Squire Payne dyes his hair? Have you been following him in hopes of giving or getting Lord's kiss from him?” Arthur elbows Mikael

 

“I wouldn’t be against giving him the Lord's kiss too” Mikael laughs “but you can’t help but notice him. He is always around Princess Sansa. So when I see him I look for her.” Mikael closed his eyes and sighed. “And you can’t hide his arse under all that armor.” Opening his eyes he looked off into the distance “I feel bad for Brienne the beauty for standing next to them. She looks more and more like a man.”

 

“That you want to get the Lord's kiss from.” Arthur laughs “what do you think would happen if one the Wildlings take Sansa as a wife?”

 

 **“What?!?!”** both Jon and Mikael say it at the same time. Luckily either one didn’t hear Jon’s voice.

 

“I am just wondering if that is why Brienne is always around Princess Sansa. I mean most ladies are around other ladies with only one knight and it only for a few hours. But Brienne is only away from Princess Sansa for a few hours and she is barely around other ladies. So I thought maybe that is why Brienne is always around her. You know to keep the Wildlings from kidnapping her. I’m sure they could take Payne easy but Brienne has taken on the Hound, Jamie Lannister and she beat that Wildling beast Tormund in just a few moves.”

 

Mikael laughed “yeah after she kicked his arse he took on five knights and King Jon. So image how many she could take. The safest place for Princess Sansa from the wildlings is with Brienne the beauty. And here I thought I was shadowing Princess Sansa”

 

“That is because you’re saying you’re shadowing Princess Sansa when you’re really shadowing Squire Payne,” Arthur laughed “also the other ladies talk about how to get King Jon attention is to go thought Princess Sansa. They try their best to get her attention. That is all they talk about. So unlike you, I notice a woman with a beautiful figure. Or lack there are.”

 

The conversation continued for several minutes about other ladies and knights with a big arse. Jon had heard enough from two knights. He went to the knights who were embarrassed they had failed at their job. Jon could tell they were worried how much Jon had heard. He didn’t want to admit he was listening for over ten minutes. But listen to them talk nonsense helped clear his mind. After informing them they need to do a better job because an assassin got into Winterfell before and that won’t be happening again. Just thinking an assassin could kill or take Sansa pissed him off. He needs to go to the other gate to make use no one could sneak in. he was hoping that doing a check would put his mind at ease when it seem to only make him worry more about Sansa.

 

Jon ran into Squire Payne heading to the south gate. Podrick bows to Jon. “Good evening King Jon. what are you doing up at this hour? Do you need any assistance?”

 


	12. The night and the mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe  
> 12 days after the Battle of the Bastards- Evening  
> Jon POV the night before the Twin's Letter. Jon realizes his feelings for Sansa

“What are you doing up at this hour Podrick?” Jon was angry. _If he was tasks of watching over Sansa with Brienne in the day he should be sleeping. He was king and he didn’t need to answer to him_.

 

For a second Podrick had forgotten his place with Jon. “I have a hard time sleeping normal hours a few weeks after a battle my grace.” Podrick lowered his head. “But I have **never** put Princess Sansa in any danger.”

 

Jon is upset that Podrick could put Sansa in any sort of danger due to the fact he was not strong enough or didn’t get enough sleep. “It’s best for you to go to sleep.”

 

“Yes your grace.” For a second it looked as if he was going to say then why are you up. But the young squire had more sense to say that out loud. “Is that all your grace?”

 

“Is it true you dye your hair squire Payne?”

 

Podrick had become as white as a ghost. “Why do you ask me that my Lord?”

 

“So it’s true?” Jon could see the terror in Podrick face.

 

“Yes My Lord. I mean Your Grace. Because I was told once I look better darker hair.”

 

Jon wondered told him he better with darker hair. He has no reason dye his hair unless he is trying to attract the attention of some one. He’s only around two people most of the day, and that is Breanne and Sansa. _Could it have been Sansa? In Kings Landing, she might have missed seeing dark hair like their father and complimented the young squire_.

 

“The other reason why is I feel closer to my mother when I dye it, she was a dark haired beauty. I just wish I got to know her better. I met my uncle a few times.” Podrick couldn’t look Jon in the face. Jon understood losing so much or been away you hold on to the smallest things.

 

“Aye, I never knew my mother also. Sansa is all I have left.” Jon took a step to Podrick and looked him straight in the eyes “she is my last connection to our father. She is the last known true Stark, and nothing will ever happen to her under our watch. _**No man will ever touch her who is not worthy of her. Are we clear**_?”

 

Podrick gulped “yes your grace. No man who is not worthy will ever touch Princess Sansa. Nothing will happen to Princess Sansa ever again as long as she stays in Winterfell.”

 

Jon nodded to Podrick “Good, you understand.” Jon walks away and in the distance, he hears Podrick say “Good night your grace.”

 

Luckily at the west gate, they noticed someone was there right away, and that put Jon mind at ease. Just one more gate and I will see Sansa once again. After the disaster with the first gate, the thought of Sansa helped calm his range down. Maester Addison was right, Sansa was the key. Keeping her safe would keep his mind focus.

 

As he headed back the North gate he can see Tormund in the court yard. _Why is everyone one up?_ He walks down the steps to the court yard. Tormund see Jon as he walks down the steps _**“don’t you need your beauty sleep?”**_

 

Jon laughed “I think I’m beautiful enough. Why are you up?”

 

“I don’t know how you Southern cunts can sleep on those clouds you call beds. And here I thought the crows bed were soft. Maybe that’s why we can beat Bolton’s army so easily. The cunts sleep on too soft of beds.”

 

Jon is too tired to talk about how they are not Southern to Tormund “Sansa said the beds in the Red Keep are much softer than ours.”

 

Tormund laughed “You are shitting me. So why are you having such a hard time beating them Southern cunts? I am surprised they know how to hold a sword with such delicate hands.”

 

“One of my brothers from the knights watch said it’s because the breed like rabbits is the south. They have a lot of food and they don’t have to worry about so many predators. Also because it’s warm down there they were less clothing. They outnumber us 10 to 1.”

 

“Fuck I would be fighting all day then I would be fucking all night too if I didn’t have to deal with the cold or predators.” They both laugh

 

Jon started to think about the earlier conversation between the two men. “Tormund I need to ask you a question.”

 

Tormund looked serious and in a deep voice asked: “About what?”

 

Jon looked straight into Tormund eyes “Do you think any of the Wildlings would try to take Sansa?”

 

Tormund busted out laughing “Fuck is that all. You had me worried for a second.”

 

Jon was getting annoyed with Tormund response “I’m asking you a serious question.”

 

When Tormund was done laughing he slapped Jon on the back “Jon all the Wildlings know that Sansa is your wife. You don’t have to worry about anyone of them taking her. You need to worry about all of the Southern cunts her trying to take her.”

 

Jon was grateful that the cold had already turned his cheeks red “She is **not** my wife, she is my sister.”

 

Tormund smiled “A sister you want to fuck. Hell, any man in his right mind wants to fuck her. Hell, I w-”

 

Jon knocked Tormund hand off his shoulder “I will not have you talk about Sansa that way.”

 

Tormund smiled once more “what about you wanting to fuck her or that some men want to fuck her?” Jon was at a loss for words. So Tormund looked at Jon with a serious look “when she first came to Castle Black I thought she was your wife because she looked so much like Ygritte. We all figured you had a thing for red heads. And the way you held her was no way **_I would hold my sister, mother or aunt_**.”

 

“She is my last family in the world. I have no clue where my mother is. I have no clue who she is. That is why I’m so proactive of Sansa. She is all I have left”

 

“But she is not your last family. I believe my future wife Brienne said your younger sister still alive. Sansa has not given up on her so why have you?”

 

_Jon knew he hadn’t given up on Arya but when Sansa is around she is all he can think about. When she is gone she is all he can think about. Then it hit him. Sansa is all he thinks about. Could Sansa feel the same way? Is that why she asked to marry me? Because if she said it was best for the North I would bend easier out of duty._

 

“Like I said us free folk don't care if siblings get together as long as they don’t have the same mother. We could all see you love her, at the least want to fuck her. All of the southern cunts think it because she is the last of your blood that you are so close to her.”

 

Jon whispers “it’s not like that.” _Jon knew the truth but he was not ready to say it out loud. Before he knew it, before he was even aware of it, he was falling in love with his sister Sansa._

 

Tormund “you took her like the free folk do. To took her in the dead of night. You killed her husband.”

 

“She came to me” Jon whispered

 

Tormund laughed "so she came you say?"

 

Jon was pissed off "it was nothing like that."

 

Tormund smiled “Then you need to work on that. I know very few wil-”

 

Jon snapped “she is not from beyond the wall.”

 

Tormund started to walk away “But don’t you say that Starks are Northerner. That is how its done in the North. Besides strong women do not need a man, she either wants him or she doesn't. Sansa is a strong woman you said so yourself. She didn’t want the Ramsay cunt she wants you.”

 

Jon is left alone the court yard. _So many thoughts are in his head. Was it true? Did Sansa truly want Jon as a man? How does she feel now after Jon had rejected her offer? He needs to see Sansa again. When he blinks he is outside of Sansa room again. He has no clue how he got from the court yard to here._ Ser Emmett Mazin “Are you ok King Jon?”

 

“Yes, just a lot to take in.” Jon paused “I just worry about Sansa future.”

 

It was as if Ser Emmet Mazin knew what was going on in Jon mind. “Whoever she marries well treats her with respect and will love her. She will learn to love him. And she never be with a monster like Ramsey every again.”

 

Jon looked at the man with murders range “Sansa will never have to look at a monster like him ever again.”

 

Ser Emmet Mazin stood straight up “yes your grace. Princess Sansa will never see a monster like him.”

 

He entered Sansa room again. Her heavenly aroma a mix of lavender, rosemary and honey hit him again. He remembers it from a young age she had always smelled like this but it never had the same effect as it does now. Or maybe it did and that is why her mother kept her away from him. Maybe that is why their father wanted him to go to the Wall. Did everyone see that he loved Sansa from such a young age? No Robb would have noticed and said something to him. So when did it start? _I wish I were a child again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts or heartache. What can I say to Sansa? What would I say to father? To Robb? Bran is still out there what will he say when he finds out I love our sister?_

 

It was true he was in love with his sister. _You always fall for the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time and sometimes for the most unexpected reason_. He remembers Sansa telling him that quote after reading a story. Their father agreed it happened. Jon still wonders if the unexpected person was his mother at the most unexpected time was after he married Catelyn. And if it was Jon mother what was the unexpected reason?

 

When he looked to the bed her furs were down it seemed he had made the room to warm for her. He could see Sansa in full view. She is beautiful with her fire red hair, her pale smooth skin, feminine curves and her soft pink lips she was perfect. He kneels down and grabs her small warm hand. _Nothing in this world compares to the comfort and security of handing someone hand_. And then he understood. He understood why people hold hands: he'd always thought it was about possessiveness, saying this is mine. Sansa smiles as Jon holds her hand. He thinks to himself; _your words have the power to set things right. Your kisses have the power to shut the screaming voices in my head. Because of you, I kept myself from drowning into madness._

He does not remember when it started or how it started; he only knows that it did. _Loving her is a sin that of that I’m fully aware. I am a sinner I._ He never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something you never really had. Sansa was not his but she will be. _You were my love, the one I would give up everything for, the one I need, the one I want. She is my queen of love and beauty._ **“I love** **you, Sansa.** When the right time comes, I will ask you to marry me and have a family together.” He kisses her hand and pulls the cover up. “We will never have to be apart.” He walks out of her room and walks to his room. He fell asleep right away and dreamt about Sansa smiling face in spring.


	13. House Mormont

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 13 days after the Battle of the Bastards- Morning  
> Jon POV dealing with House Mormont on the day Winterfell obtains the Letter from the Twins

For the first time in a long time Jon had a deep sleep, he dreamt about his future in the spring. Sansa was playing in the court yard with their daughter who looks just like Arya but with the Tully blue eyes. Jon was showing their sons how to hold a sword. One looks just like just like their father and Jon, a true Stark man with black hair and gray eyes. The other one looks looked just like Robb and Rickon but he had the Stark gray eye. Their last boy was trying on a helmet that covered almost his whole face but Jon remembered he had Sansa's nose. Their oldest daughter was riding a horse with their aunt Arya. He doesn’t remember who she looks like but he remembers Sansa telling Arya to be careful with our oldest daughter.

 

Arya said “Oh don’t worry momma wolf. This young wolf is just like her aunt fearless, and just like her mother, she is very smart. She won’t get hurt.” Just before he woke up he heard someone off in the distance was shouting father. _Maybe he has more children with Sansa. Yes, five children with Sansa will not be enough. There need to be at least seven Stark children in the Winterfell._ They both will survive this war then the long winter and have a fruitful spring. Arya will come home. They will be a family once again. He is hopeful for his future.

 

As he lies in his empty bed, reality hits him. That was only a dream Sansa is not there, she is not even his. How will he tell the Northern House that he wants to marry his sister? Then he remembers Sansa had already thought this out she has a planned what to say to the Northern house. _Seven hells._ He rejected her offer of marriage. _How is he going to make this right? How mad is Sansa at him for rejecting her? Is that why she has been eating her meals in her room? He really did hurt her. How will he bring up the topic of marriage with her? What if it’s too late and Littlefinger has already set a plan in motion? No he couldn’t have it has not been a week since Sansa proposed the marriage between them. Could Sansa be in her room this whole time planning a new marriage proposal for herself?_

 

Before they talk about marriage Jon need to apology to Sansa about being too harsh with her. He needs to tell her how he feels. He knows he will most likely have many drinks like Sansa did bring up the proposal to being with. How will he face her at breakfast?

 

Jon couldn’t ask any of the noble houses how to confess his feeling for his sister. How would they react to that confession? Some would say he is no better than Jamie Lannister. Jon laughed and thought to himself, of course, _the one person who has thought out most if not all the details to break this subject to the Northern houses is the one person he can’t talk to._

 

And Tormund would make a crude remark that would only piss him off. Maybe Ser Davos will have some useful insight of how to right this wrong, but how would he react of the thought of him falling in love with Sansa.

 

As he walks to the dinning all he see Lady Brienne. Is Sansa with her? Jon is not ready to face her yet. What will he say to her? As Brienne get closer, Jon can see she is alone. “Good morning Lady Brienne. Is Sansa in the dining hall?”

 

Brienne bows “Good morning your grace. I am afraid that Princess Sansa wishes to dine in her quarters once again this morning. She said her quarters are too warm to leave right away.”

 

“I see.” Jon is happy she woke up warm but he is sad she is most likely still hurt about the rejection. “Is Emmett Mazin still guarding her?” Jon doesn’t want Sansa to be left alone with Podrick. He didn’t like the way he looks when talking about Sansa last night. He liked it even less a few days ago he looked extremely guilty being unsupervised in her quarters.

 

Brienne knows that Jon is very protective of Sansa since they were reunited. They both have lost so many family members in places where they should have been safe. There have been many changes in Sansa that Brienne can see in the short about of time she has been with her. “Yes, he is. I asked one of the ladies from House Manderly help her as I get her breakfast.”

 

“Good. I have a few questions I would like to ask you later on this morning. Also, I would like for you and Podrick to be the first the blacksmith see to fix both of your armor. You can’t protect Princess Sansa with weak armor.”

 

Brienne smiles at Jon. “Yes your grace. I will get Princess Sansa meal then I will head with Podrick to get our armor fixed. Will there be anything else your grace?”

 

Jon smiled “no that will be all Lady Brienne.” Brienne bowed before heading to the kitchen.

 

Jon is sad she is not there to brighten up the room but he is also happy for he is not sure how to face her. Jon is not the only one to notice that Sansa is absent again. Lyanna Mormont stopped eating and looked at Jon with determination in her eyes. “Will Princess Sansa be joining us this morning?”

 

Jon said in a low voice “I am afraid not Lady Mormont.”

 

“I wished to speak to the both of you. But if she is not here I would still wish to speak to you, King Jon”

 

Jon knows that Lyanna Mormont is not the kind of lady to hold her tongue. _For her to ask for any kind of permission or to proceed with caution meant the discussion was significant._ “If you wish to talk to after our meal, we can speak in my solar.”

 

Lady Mormont nodded “Very well. It’s about House Umber and House Karstark. My King.” The room went dead quiet. Lady Lyanna went back to eating her food.

 

The next sound was Tormund laughing almost choking on his food.

 

Ser Davos leans to Jon “it looks like it will always be Lady Lyanna Mormont to speak out”

 

The rest of the meal was dead silent, breaking only with laughs from Tormund followed by him almost choking. When Jon was done he wants to head straight to his solar. “I will see you soon Lady Mormont.”

 

Ser Davos finishes shortly after Jon and Jon is grateful he is not alone. After a few steps, Jon spoke “I had seen my father execute many men who left the watch. They had broken their vows. He beheads those whom he condemned with ice. Just like House Umber and House Karstark they had sworn loyalty to House Stark but they had betrayed them at Robb wedding. Yes the men had to die but what about their children. They are not responsible for their family actions. My father was outraged with what happened to Elia Martell and her children at Kings Landing. He called it a brutal act and the murder of children. I don’t think my father would want the child of Lord Umber and Lord Karstark killed.”

 

Jon was appreciative that Ser Davos let him speak before asking any question. Jon can see why Stannis had him as an advisor for years and thankful he is by his side now. “Your father was a wise man. So what will be done with them?”

 

Jon quickened his pace. “Lord Umber gave Rickon to Ramsay. Lord Karstark joined Ramsay knowing what he did to Sansa. What the Lords did is unforgivable.” Jon wanted them to be brought back to life just so he could kill them. The cunts knew what happened to Sansa, they saw the pain she was in and they did nothing.

 

“And Lady Mormont.”

 

Jon signed “I will explain to her I’m not holding the Umber and Karstark children for their parent’s actions. No more than Sansa could be held accountable for our father in Kings Landing”

 

“And if she doesn’t accept it.”

 

Jon stopped in his track. “She will. She said she will follow me until my last day. I will also follow my father, my uncle and her uncle’s plan.”

 

***********************

 

Ser Davos finishes lighting the fire when there is a knock at the door. Jon nods at Ser Davos and he opens the door. Lady Mormont is there with one of her advisors. She bows to Jon “My King. I wish to speak to you about House Umber and House Karstark future.”

 

Jon leaned back into “Aye, my lady. What do you have in mind?”

 

Lady Mormont stood up straight. She may only 10 and short in stature but could stand toe Nymeria the warrior-queen of Dorne. “They need to be dealt with King Jon.”

 

“What do you propose?”

 

In the same tone she used to declare Jon King in the North spoke “It simple, their houses will not continue. They will be the last to live in the castles.”

 

In a stony voice, Jon spoke “That will not happen”

 

Lady Mormont scowled with displeasure “So I take it you have a plan for House Umber and House Karstark?”

 

Jon sat up straight in his chair “Aye, I will have their children bend the knee to me. No harm will come to their children.”

 

Her advisor was about to speak but Lady Mormont just looked at him. He had closed his mouth very fast that caused Ser Davos to chuckle. She clutched her hands as she spoke “King Jon I am not saying we should kill their children. I am saying they need to be stripped of their titles and land. There can’t be ill-content in Winterfell or in the North.”

 

Ser Davos spoke in a neutral tone which was needed in this tense situation “There will always be ill content but this is a time of war. But from what I have seen the North will put away those feeling to survive the war.”

 

Jon was appreciative for Davos composer “Aye. Wildlings have been killing Crows for hundreds of years. Countless of my brothers died from their hands on my watch alone. But they fought with us to bring down the Bolton’s. I can’t make the North forget what happened just a year ago but they will work together. I can’t hold the Wildlings accountable for their father’s actions. So I cannot hold House Umber and House Karstark children accountable more than I do the Wildlings children.”

 

Lady Mormont advisor spoke for the first time “What about the Wildings?”

 

Jon leaned back in his chair. “I will follow my father’s, my uncle’s and Lady Lyanna Mormont uncle, the Lord Commander Jorah Mormont plan. We will settle them in the abandoned hold fast in The Gift with the Nights Watch yielding a large part of the land. After the winter they may go back to beyond the wall. If that happens we will appoint a new Load. The new lord would pay taxes to Castle Black and not Winterfell.”

 

“Just like what you were saying about having a new lord in The Gift there should be a new Lord at the lands that overlook the Shivering Sea. Dreadfort the lands at House Bolton had will also be given to a new lord since there are no more living Boltons. Or will you give it to someone who betrayed H-.”

 

Jon leaned forward “Lady Mormont. I will decide what will happen to the Northern houses after the war of the dead and the long winter.”

 

Before Lady Mormont could answer there was a knock at the door. “King Jon we have acquired a letter in regards about the Twins.”

 

***********************

 

Just like last night, Jon didn’t remember what happened between the man entering the solar and Sansa entering the room. Her beautiful face lite the room as she entered, her fiery red hair, pale snow white skin, her rosy cheeks then he saw her lips almost blue. _How long was she outside? Where was Podrick? Then Jon saw she is wearing Podrick cloak. Why was she wearing his cloak?_   _I have talked to Podrick at no man who is unworthy will ever touch Sansa. And you Podrick are not worthy to touch Sansa the future queen of the North._

As Sansa takes off Podrick’s cloak Jon could breathe easier “Why did you ask to see me Jon?” is the fact she is calling him Jon and not King Jon or your grace a good sign?

 

“There was an assassin at the twins.” He can’t help but notice that Sansa’s lips look so much bluer in the light. _Podrick Why did you let her get this cold?_

 

Ser Davos had handed Sansa the parchment Jon knows he said something but all of his attention drawn to Sansa. He knows what is in the letter but having Sansa reading the letter aloud is like hearing it for the first time “You are nothing but a bastard. I will come for you for all you have done to my family. This is only but a taste.” She stops reading. Then her Tully blue eyes focused on him filled with concern, oddly Jon feels more at ease.

 

“When was the assassin? It could have been done by someone loyal to the Starks. This is most likely to have been meant for Ramsey.” Jon didn’t hear anyone besides Sansa's voice. He only came back to the conversation when Tormund hit the table a few times.

 

“The Lannisters were there. Who was for certain killed?” Sansa asked.

 

“We know many Frays were killed but we don’t know for sure.” Ser Davos said in a calm tone.

 

“We need to know for sure. Walder Frey had many wives. He had many children. The line of succession will unclear.” Sansa looked like a queen commanding the room.

 

Then Jon heard Podrick voice “The last thing we need in a meaningless war close to the North.”

 

“That is not the only reason why we need to go to the Twins. We need to see how much damage is done and if you are able to take back the twins. We will need the bridge before the long night if we are to survive it. And we need them to get the rest of the Stark bones along with their bannermen. They need to be properly buried like Rickon.” Jon looked at Sansa how was shaking. He didn’t know if she was still cold or if it the thought of the family who is gone. _I want to walk over to her and hold her until she stops shaking._

 

Sansa heavenly voice calmed Jon down he didn’t want to think about Podrick anymore. “Yes, we need to bury Robb and my mother. I am sure the rest of the Northern houses would approve to have their loved one bones back. It would also be a sign of power for the North.”

 

“Princess Sansa is right” Littlefinger entered the room bowing to Sansa. Bowed to Jon and in a cold voice said “My grace. You called for me?” Sansa told him he was not to be trusted but for now, he needs to stay alive.

 

“Yes Lord Baelish. We will require the knights of the Vail to help bring back Lady Catelyn and King Robb along with all of the other bannermens bones from the Twins. 2,000 to 9,000 should be more than enough to do the job. Once they have acquired the Twins, they we will bring supplies from the South to Winterfell.”


	14. Worth the wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 12 days after the Battle of the Bastards - evening  
> 13 days after the Battle of the Bastards- morning and day of the Twins letter  
> 18 days after the Battle of the Bastards - Evening getting ready to leave Winterfell 
> 
> Podrick POV the night before, the day of and the next evening the Twins Letter was attained

Podrick can’t seem to fall asleep or sleep the whole night the last week and the cause is Littlefinger. _Littlefinger has a plan for the 7 Kingdoms that much we know. But the more we found out about what he has done so far the more confusing it becomes. He has no real loyalties to anyone but Sansa it seems. Sansa must be the key._ No _, that was not right; he had given her to that monster Ramsey. What is his master plan? Was it Sansa? Does he want to marry her? No, he married her aunt. But now that Lady Lysa has passed he could remarry. No, her aunt had passed before she married Ramsey, so he could have married her and become the new Lord of Winterfell. Maybe the Lord of the Vale would have been upset and killed him. No Sansa and other Lords of the Vale say Robin holds Littlefinger advice in great esteem. It seems he was been making friends within the Vale for years and with all the new wards he could have taken over the North so easily._

 

 _Why was Sansa fearful of him? What kind of hold did he have over her?_ Podrick knows that Sansa is not telling him everything. If it was not for Lady Brienne suspicion actions he would have never thought twice about it. _What is she hiding?_ Podrick laughs to himself, _Yeah it’s not like I have been honest with her too. I hope one day I can tell her everything. I hope she will listen to the end._

 

 _I wonder what my father would think about Sansa. We both come from noble families maybe our fathers could have arranged a marriage between our house_. Then he laughed again. _No, her father hated my father and in turn, he would have hated me. This would be the only way I could get this close to her. I wish I could marry her but I doubt she would even look at me twice. Yes, she has been much nicer the last week but that is most likely due to Jon. She lights up every time he is near. Right now I can’t offer anything; all I have is my mind. But all the wisdom I can give is about the history of different Houses, and the way the war is going all that will be useless soon._

 

_I can be her shield but I am nowhere near as a skilled fighter as King Jon, Lady Brienne or Tormund. They also command loyalties from all those who follow them, everyone who follows them would die without a second thought. Her brother King Jon has bridged parley between the Crows and Wildlings. He died for this beliefs, he was killed by his sworn brothers. How can I stand next to a man like that? How can any man stand next to him? He was born a bastard, raised with all of the Stark quality, lived as a Lord Commander of the Nights Watch than he died for doing what was right only be reborn as a King. He is the kind of man that songs are written about. The kind songs that Sansa loves, I wonder if one day there will be great songs about me._

 

 _Maybe there was a time when they would have written a song about me but I send on a different path_. _When Tywin Lannister sending me to serve as squire to his son Tyrion Lannister, I was worried so much would go wrong but I would make the best out of it. I thought to understand Kings Landing was important to understand for the future but it seems benign sent to watch over Sansa Stark was the best for my future. Oh, precious Sansa._

 

She is everything the past, the present and the future. She embodies the past, she is a strong Stark woman made for winter. The Starks may have bent the knee and almost been exterminated but they are one of the few houses to still be standing. Their family goes back to the first men and the children of the forest. But before we go to the future we need to live through the long night.

 

Sansa is our vision of hope. Podrick laughs and thinks about how all the men of any age or any states talking about Sansa beauty. How she will need a husband soon. And how many of them would be willing to leave their House, their names just to become her husband. All of the older warriors speak of how her beauty surpasses the late Lady Catelyn and how she will get better like a fine wine. Sansa is the future of House Stark and House Tully; she is the spring after the long night. Although she respected springs, she was a maiden of autumn with sunset in her hair.

 

_I hated to thinking about that past when I was younger. It only reminded me of what I had lost and what I will never have. I hated to think about the future because it felt like I had little to say. But that all changed when I was sent to Kings Landing. My future was unclear. Even then I could never think about the present. I seemed I could only enjoy my life was when I was an old man but with Sansa in my sight, I can enjoy the small things._

_I wondered what_ would _Jon would say or do if I said any of this aloud. I bet he would either laugh at me for thinking the crazy idea could work out or he would get mad at me for having such thought of Princess Sansa. I need to go for a walk to help clear my head. I need to stop thinking about the maiden as red as autumn._ But he knows nothing can make him stop thinking about that maiden with sunset in her hair for long.

 

Podrick started to quietly sing the Myrish song as he entered the hall way.

  
_“I loved a maid as far as summer,_  
_with sunlight in her hair._

  
_I loved a maid as red as autumn,_  
_with sunset in her hair._

  
_I loved a maid as white as winter,_  
_with moonglow in her hair._

  
_I loved a maid as-”_

 

 _Who is up at this hour? Is that King Jon?_ Podrick walks towards Jon and bows. “Good evening King Jon. What are you doing up at this hour? Do you need any assistance?”

 

Jon looks furious “What are you doing up at this hour Podrick?”

 

“I have a hard time sleeping normal hours a few weeks after a battle my grace.” No what if he thinks I am putting Sansa at risk. “But I have never put Sansa in any danger.”

 

Jon looked even more furious than before “It’s best for you to go to sleep.”

 

“Yes my grace. Is that all your grace?” Podrick is not sure what else to say right now. I _t will be best to keep my head down until he dismisses me._

 

“Is it true you dye your hair Squire Payne?”

 

 _Why would he ask that? Who did he hear it from? What does he know?_ Podrick can feel the blood leaving his face. “Why do you ask me that my Lord?”

 

Jon in an icy tone asked, “So it’s true?”

 

 _If I lie right now he will know. I will tell him as much of the truth but I can’t look him in the face right now. “_ Yes my lord. Because I was told once I look better darker hair. The other reason why is I feel closer to my mother when I dye it, she was a dark haired beauty. I just wish I got to know her better. I met my uncle a few times.”

 

“Aye, I never knew my mother also. Sansa a little have left.” Podrick could hear Jon taking a few steps right in front of him. When I looked into his eyes I could see the determination in his eyes. “She is my last connection to our father. She is the last known true Stark, and nothing will ever happen under our watch. No man will ever touch her who is not worthy of her. Are we clear?”

 

Podrick gulped. He can see my feeling for Sansa. “Yes your grace. No man who is not worthy will ever touch Princess Sansa. Nothing will happen to Princess Sansa ever again as long as she stays in Winterfell.” He seems to hate me just like his father would have.

 

Jon nodded to Podrick “Good, you understand.” Jon has walked away before he could answer.

 

He yells to Jon “Your grace-” But he stops, I will keep it to myself. He started to walk back to his room. Why did Jon ask if I dyed my hair? That is not a normal question to ask. What will I say if he asks again? What will I say if Sansa asks me that question? I need to sleep on this.

 

***************************

 

In the morning he wakes up slightly later than normal. How can I protect Sansa if I am not there? What will Jon say after he hears I was there first thing in the morning the night after the conversation about keeping Sansa safe?

 

As he walks to Sansa room he runs into Lady Brienne. “Podrick gives Princess Sansa her meal.” She handed Podrick the food. “I was talking to King Jon about fixing our armor in order to protect Princess Sansa. I will see the blacksmith first while you guard as Princess Sansa. Emmett Mazin has been guarding Sansa all night and I know he will sleep if he will be guarding her tonight. After seeing the blacksmith I will talk to King Jon again and when I return you will see the blacksmith.”

 

As Brienne walk away he thinks how can he faces Sansa. Maybe he won't talk and just look upon her. He hopes that they will go to the Godwoods despite it being winter in Winterfell. The Godwood is becoming his favorite place in Winterfell. All of his happy memories are either in Sansa room or the Godwood. But it would be inappropriate to say his favorite place is Princess Sansa’s room. Jon would be never let him guard her ever again. And if he knew what he had once planned for her, Jon would have sent him to the Wall and never let them see one another again.

 

***************************

 

I remember what my only friend had told me long ago what they knew about love “when you fall in love with someone, you give them your heart. When you find out they love you too, you get it back, times two.” Now it seems that Sansa is giving me back my heart two folds.

 

Sansa had given me her handkerchief. She was holding the middle and placed it into my hand. _Did she know what she was saying? No, she can’t. She is the princess and right now I am a lowly square. Before he could think about anymore the sweetest words left Sansa’s blue lips._ “You will keep it. It is my token to you.” She knew what it meant. I don’t care if any man past or present thinks I am not worthy of her. She thinks I am worthy of her.

 

He remembers a long time ago a few knight tell him if a girl shows you her handkerchief holding from the middle, it meant: I am waiting for you tonight. And if you are given her handkerchief you are to carefully folded it and put in his pocket to show you love her also. Sansa did send a lot of time in Kings Landing and this would be a very subtle way of declaring their love for one another in the open.

 

Her eyes twinkle as she spoke “I think we should head back in before we come ill.” Is she saying that it will happen now? Is she really worried she will become sick? I don’t care I will follow her where ever she goes.

 

Podrick takes off his cloak and whispers “My Lady, please wear my cloak until we are inside. Your lips are almost blue.” _The Godwood is now my favorite place in the world for it holds my dearest memory. This is one of the most sacred places in this world to Sansa the woman I love, and she declaring her love for me here._

 

***************************

 

It has been decided that 9,000 men will be going to the Twins to take control. It will also lessen the amount of food needed in Winterfell, once that happened half with stay and half will go south to get more supplies for Winterfell. Lady Brienne will lead a small group back with the bones of King Robb Stark, Lady Catelyn along with all of the other bannermen's bones from the Twins. Podrick will be going with Lady Brienne to transport the bones.

 

Podrick spends the rest of the morning and afternoon with the blacksmith in preparing to leave to the twins soon. Some of the men were happy to leave Winterfell knowing it would only get colder. Some of the men were worried if they would make it to the Twins. But there were few things on everyone’s mind. The first was what did Lady Mormont say to Jon when they were in his solar. What was his response? Lastly, what would Princess Sansa be wearing as she sends the troops off? If they were going to take the Twins they would need some encouragement.

 

He knew he needed to get as much sleep as he could before the long journey but he needed to see Sansa as much as he could before that. He knew she would be in the sewing room, making the banners and fixing the tents along with all of the other ladies in Winterfell. There were two men guarding the door. Podrick has seen them before Arthur and Mikael. He didn’t like how Arthur looked at Princess Sansa. Podrick equally didn’t like how Mikael looked at him.

 

Simultaneously the two guards greeted Podrick “Squire Payne.” Arthur looked guilty. He must have been talking about Sansa or thinking about her. He wondered if that is how he looked to King Jon.

 

Mikael had an unconformable smile on his face that sent chills down Podrick spine. “Princess Sansa along with the other ladies are finishing up the prearrangement for your long journey.”

 

Podrick stiffens “I need to see Princess Sansa. Please move aside.”

 

But neither of the men moved. Arthur cleared his throat. “I am sorry Squire Payne but by order of the King, we are not to allow any man into the sewing room.”

 

Before he could answer Sansa opened the door. “Princess Sansa.” All three of the men bowed and Podrick could see that they were all blushing at Sansa.

 

Sansa’s eyes were soo bright when she looked into Podrick eyes. In a very cheerful tone, Sansa spoke “I have left a few things in my room and Squire Payne will escort me to my room. You both will continue to guard my ladies in waiting until we get back”

 

Arthur wanted to say something but Mikael elbowed him. Before Podrick could process anything there were many giggles. Mikael bowed to Sansa again “Your wish is my command princess. I am sure Squire Payne will keep you safe.”

 

Podrick and Sansa walked quickly down the hall with giggles fading in the back. “Did you know Podrick that you are admired within Winterfell by everyone it seems.”

 

Podrick blushed “I don’t think I am admired that much.”

 

Sansa giggled, which sent him soaring to the havens. “Well, the way Mikael goes on about you it’s almost like you are a prince.” Podrick could feel his face scrunch at the thought what Mikael would say about him. Just the thought of Mikael talking about him was making him fall from the heavens. Sansa footsteps paused. Podrick turned around to see Sansa’s disheartened face “Podrick, he really does admire you. And how could he not you are sweet, brave and smart.” Sansa took a step closer and placed her right hand on his cheek. _Her hands are warm and soft. Hands I knew better than my own._   _How lucky am I to have the attention of the living embodiment of the Maiden; she could also be the living embodiment of the Mother. Either way, she was a goddess_.

 

She takes a quick look around and drags Podrick down the hall to an empty room. After they both enter the room she quickly locks it. “This used to be my childhood bedroom and the young maiden who is using this room is in the sewing room. We won’t be disturbed.” There is a long moment of silence. “I don’t know where or how to start.”

 

Podrick knew for a lady like Sansa to be this bold to a lot of courage. Now it’s time to show her his courage and conviction about how he feels. “I used to think if I was just able to see you every day, then I would be satisfied enough for the rest of this life of mine.”

 

“Podrick”

 

Podrick grabs Sansa’s hands and looks deep into her eyes. “When you breathe my name so softly and so sweet, I know that there could be no one else for me but you. I love you, Sansa.”

 

Sansa is on the verge of tears “If you don’t mean it, please don’t say you love me because I might do something foolish like trust in those words and believe it.”

 

Podrick smiled “You know red was my favorite color until I met you, now its Tully blue. I could swim on those azure pearls all day and fly across the sapphire skies that are your eyes. The magic in your eyes have stirred my rather still and lifeless journey. All I need is a smile, a look or a single touch from you and the rest of my day becomes perfect. Every moment spent with you is a blessing to me. Now my reality is better than my dreams but sadly my dream will be better because you will be out of my sight soon.”

 

“Don’t say that. You won’t be gone for long and I will talk to Jon about us mar-” before Sansa could finish Podrick placed his lips on hers. The kiss was passionate, sweet with a longing of desire. It was the kiss of a man who had waited years and feared that it would never happen.

 

Podrick pulled back “I want to kiss you more”

 

Slightly out of breath asking “So what is stopping you”

 

“I can’t have you going back to the sewing room with swollen lips. Well, at least those lips.” He said with a small chuckle.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Podrick eyes widen, there was a moment of hesitation “There are some men like to kiss another set of lips.” And he points down, there is a moment of silence before Sansa turns a bright red. “It’s not I won’t, it’s just I have never done it.”

 

“But you would”

 

“For you yes, even right here if you wanted.” There was more silent. I said too much. How could I be so stupid she is the princess of Winterfell of course she would do something like this right away.

 

“I don’t want to do it on the bed. I don’t know how I could face the ladies know what we something like that where they sleep.”

 

“We can do it standing up” Podrick rushed it as if she would come to her sense and change her mind.

 

“Ok” Sansa leaned again the wall closest to the door.

 

Podrick took a step closer “We must be quiet so not to raise suspicion. And unfortunately we must be fast or they will come looking for us.” Sansa just nodded. How lucky can one man be.

 

Podrick had a wicked grin as he go on his knees and laid his head against her legs. Him just being there, Sansa began to pant heavily. Push her skirt up while keeping her legs closed. His nostrils flared as he was soaking in her scent. _By the gods she was mouthwatering_. He could hear her breath quicken and her legs begin quivering. He was a starving man with banquet laid in front of him. Podrick carefully removed her small clothing and was in awe of the beautiful sight before him. He was so thankful that he didn’t have a beard to scratch her stunning snowy white soft thighs. He kissed each thigh seven times for each god to thank them for creating this perfect woman. Sansa let out a simply quiet moan in response to each kiss. He then situated her right leg over his shoulder.

 

He took one more deep breath before placing his tongue on her tight just to tease her slightly. She let out a violent shiver and he grabbed her hips tightly pushing her to the wall. There was an awkward moment of silence before a heart pounding moment of hearing footsteps down the hall. They both stayed perfectly still until they could no longer hear the footsteps. Podrick mummed into her right thigh to help calm her down. He didn’t know if it was from him being there or almost get caught but he could feel her getting wet. He needed to taste her.

 

Slowly and light he started to trace circles around her clitoris. She let out a few low-pitched moans; each moan was sweet music to his ears. _She tasted as sweet as honey, no she was sweeter._ After about two minutes he gave a quick light flick of the tongue over her clitoris, Sansa legs bucketed. If it was not for Podrick shoulder she would have fallen to the floor. He sounded like a big cat purring with pleasure while it devoured its prey. The mix of the warmth between her legs and the cold wall was maddening. She arches her body like a cat and grabbed him by his hair which only made him quicken his pace. Then all once she released her sweet nectar and Podrick licked every last drop. Once he was done he removed her leg off of his shoulder and stood up.

 

“We need to do that again.” Sansa spoke after a few heavy pants

 

“I agree but first we need to go to get you back to the sewing room or Arthur will inform Jon you are missing.”

 

Sansa smiled “yes we better hurry back”

 

It was safe to say she no longer embodied the Maiden that represents purity and innocence. Yes, she can embodied love and beauty aspect, but now she is more like the living embodiment of the Mother. She represents mercy, peace, fertility, and childbirth. The future looks bright for Podrick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok after this I will go back to a liner story sorry for the long wait. I couldn't get the smut right. I still feel its wrong and not the good kind of wrong. So If it sucks I am sorry. I can't seem to write good smut 
> 
> I have been sick and busy with work. Oh yeah I am working on another story that I should have out soon.


	15. Optimistic future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time frame:  
> 18 days after the Battle of the Bastards - Evening getting ready to leave Winterfell

As soon as the door shut Podrick felt he should wake up now. He was so confident of himself in the small room; then they stepped out of the small room it was gone. _In that room, I was just me and she was just her. Once we stepped out I was a lowly squire and she was the princess. There was no way this was not a dream._

 

He should be walking in front of her but she was the first to leave the room and he likes the way she looked from behind. She was nothing like the other woman he has been with or even around. _She is a true queen. I still cannot believe that you are already mine. I swear I never forget the first night I saw you. I can still remember how you look exactly that night. You caught not only my attention but also my heart. I never believed in love at first sight until I saw you. Although you were promised to another and_ wed _to the man I was a squire to later I still loved you. You caught anyone’s attention even when you walked in the crowd. When I see you I cannot take my eyes off you, and the rest of the night I think only about you_.

 

_You might have married me out of a political alliance. It would have made sense and I would never have refused it for you would be mine. I would give up my last name for you, I would be a Stark so our children would be Starks. I would even be a Tully if you asked. I would have given up any future titles for you. I wouldn’t care if you had no titles of our own. If we both had to become farmers I would make it work. All that I ask is I have a chance to win your heart. I doubted I would have won your heart so easy if at all. I know that I am worthy of your heart. I doubted that any man was worthy of you. But I will keep trying to prove I am worthy of you._

 

Then he heard his favorite sound in the world her low velvet voice. “We better go to my room now.” Podrick stopped dead in his track. No, he knew was dead. There was no way she would ask him that. “We told Ser Arthur and Ser Mikael I needed to get a few things in my room and you would escort me to my room. I fear we have been gone longer than we should and we need to hurry back or they will send a search party. I don’t think King Jon would like to know that I am missing. I also don’t think he would like to know what happened.”

 

He had forgotten why they left the sewing room. “Yes, my lady we should hurry.” He had blushed just remembering what happened. He was happy that Sansa was walking in front of him. Maybe she was blushing too.

 

After a few moments of silence, Sansa spoke again. “You know that Ser Mikael is ** _enthusiast admirer_ ** of yours. He never seems to stop talking about you.” That comment sent a shiver down Podrick spine. He must have let out a strange sound for Sansa was laughing “I promise you it all good.” Maybe he should be happy; maybe Mikael helped her see him in a different light. It seems only after the battle for Winterfell did she start acting differently towards him.

 

“Do you know why the King ordered that no men were allowed in the sewing room?” This time Sansa stopped dead in her track. “Is ever think ok princess?”

 

Sansa turned around to see him and he couldn’t tell where her hairline ended and her forehead started. “Some of the ladies were talking about how some time Knights might find some companionship before a perilous quest.”

 

Did she do that because she was worried I would die on the mission? Had someone tried to do something to Sansa earlier that evening? Is that why King Jon put two grads outside of the room? He was feeling so many emotions that he was not sure what to say. “Sansa”

 

“I did it because you will be gone for a long time. I don’t know how long it will be. And I need you know what is back here waiting for you.”

 

He was so touched by what Sansa said. Then he remembered all of the other ladies in waiting were giggling. _Did they know what Sansa was going to do? Did they encourage it? What will Arthur and Mikael say when King Jon asks what happened on their watch? What if King Jon is looking for her now? How will I be able to keep a straight face? How can I look him in the eyes? When I looked into her haunting crystal blue eyes a shade that shouldn't exist for it puts the sea to shame and the sky cried for it will never be as beautiful as their eyes, but there was so much uncertain in those perfect blue eyes. Did she worry that I will find someone else? Did she believe that there was another goddess walking around Westeros?_

 

“Sansa I know what is back here. If anything I worry I am not worthy of you and you will find someone who is more worthy than I.” But it was more likely she would have to marry a noble man to form an alliance.

 

“It just Jon.” Her Tully blue eyes the truest blue of all was about to fill with tears. _Why was she on the verge of tears? I don’t see King Jon forcing her to marry anyone what would hurt her. Not after everything she has been through._ “I mean its”

 

 _I had taken hold of her perfect porcelain cheeks into my hand and placed forehead on hers. I knew it was inappropriate but she was shaking in my hands. I needed to do something._ “Sansa. I don’t care what King Jon thinks right now. All I care about right now is why are shaking.” He knew as soon as his words left his mouth he could be hanged but he needs her to know he was there for her and he would risk his life for his love for her.

 

“My father.” She didn’t need to speak anymore. Her father arguably the noblest man in all of Westeros had cheated on her mother one of the most striking women in Westeros with another woman within their first year of marriage during Robert's Rebellion. He knew he was not as noble as Ned Stark not will all of the lies he has said but he never lied about his feeling to her.

  
“I am not your father. He may have been one of the noblest men in all of Westeros but don’t have any current titles or land. For me to be worthy of you I need to be nobler than him. I need to be smarter than Littlefinger, braver than Brienne or Tormund and inspire loyal like Jon to even to be considered worthy of your company.” Sansa had stopped shaking but she still looked as if she was going to cry at any moment.

 

“I hope you remember that I have fought for years to even stand by your side. I was released from being Brienne squire many times but I still wanted to look for you. I could have gone south by now but I wanted to stay by your side.” _House Payne is loyal to House Lannister and yet here I am with you._ “Unlike your father and mother, they were allowed to marry.” _Yes, they were forced to marry for an alliance but they did fall in love_ “Right now I can’t marry you. I need to prove to the whole North I am worthy of you. I need to prove to the King I will never hurt you.”

 

“You want to marry me?” She knew he loved her but was not sure if he wanted to marry her. She had built a new plan involving him and she didn’t even ask him if he wanted to. It was reasonable that many noble men would want to marry a princess, but she wasn’t sure. It was only recently she discovered her feeling for him.

 

“I should be asking you that. I would be lying saying I didn’t think about it in Kingslanding.”

 

“You thought about marrying me in Kingslanding?” _There was no way he was looking at me with marriage in his eyes._ The voice of Littlefinger talking about the three other women was still in her head.

 

“I feel in love with you the first moment I saw you. But I knew that the Lannisters wouldn’t allow you to marry someone of such low rank. I knew they would want to marry you off to someone loyal to them if not one of their family members so they had a claim on Winterfell. House Payne holds fealty to House Lannister of Casterly Rock. Part of me was hoping that they would marry me to you, one reason why I never asked to go back. I knew I could never marry you until I was a knight. But you were married to Tyrion Lannister.” All of the joy he had in his eyes was gone. “I tried to forget about you but you know how that turned out.”

 

 _I forgot his house is loyal to House Lannister. Is he a spy? No, he is too noble for that. If he was going to take me back to the Lannister he would have done it when Brienne was sleeping before we reached Castle Black. There is no reason why I or anyone should doubt his loyalty to the Starks. How much did I hurt him when I married Tyrion? A man life he saved only to marry the woman he loved. Was he trying to forget about me since Kingslanding? Is that why Little finger named the three women. Did he know how Podrick felt about me?_ “So the other”

 

“It was just once. I never went back to them. I couldn’t go back to them. Which is another reason why I am trying so hard to prove I am worthy of you.”

 

“You have nothing to prove to me. I was a traitor’s daughter whom marriage was called off and you are from a noble house. If anything you were too good for me.”

 

“You can’t believe that. Even then you were too good for me.” He didn’t want to say of all the lies he had told up until that point but he couldn’t bring himself to say it.

 

Sansa had stopped shaking at this point. She looked into his gentle eyes. She kissed him. _He was the kind of man her father wanted her to marry. She was thinking about how one-day Podrick had changed her life. He changed my future. I don’t remember when it started or how it started; I only know that it did. You always fall for the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time and sometimes for the most unexpected reason. It was true with Podrick_. Sansa smiled “before I knew it before I was even aware of it, I was falling in love with you. I promised myself that I will never fall in love again and look where I am right now.”

 

“Why would you promise that?” But as soon as the words left his mouth he remembered who she fell in love with first that monster. _Don’t get mad that monster is dead and he can’t hurt her anymore._ “When I look at you, I can only see a future filled with blissful days. I can’t be away from you for more than a day. I don’t know I will handle it being gone over a few months.”

 

Sansa smiled “it normally takes about a month to go from Winterfell to Kings Landing if you ride only during the day. And it can take up to three weeks to go to the Twins. But with winter here it could take longer and don’t forget you need to secure the Twins before riding back at least another three weeks.”

 

“So to get back to you we will reclaim the Twins in a day before turning right back.”

 

Then there was a sound down the hall that made them both jump and brought them back to Winterfell where he was a lowly squire and she was the princess. For now, they need to keep their love hidden.

 

“We should hurry. I fear there will search party for you soon.”

 

“There is a guard outside of my door every night but if we wake up early enough we can see each other again in private before you leave.”

 

“I know I should sleep before leaving Winterfell but I can’t leave knowing I had a chance of seeing you in private again.” With that, they walked quickly down the hall to her room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long for this chapter….. but I may have lost my files and had to start all over…. There are a few things I wanted to give hints about for chapters to come….. But I just gave up and I am starting from scratch again….


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time frame:  
> 18 days after the Battle of the Bastards - Evening getting ready to leave Winterfell

When Podrick and Sansa entered the room she grabbed a few old blankets to use for patch work but as soon as they were about to leave the room the door swung right open. It looked like it was the search party that was led by Jon. His eyes went to Sansa with the gentle calm eyes but once he looked at Podrick he looked at him as if he was the one betrayed our family. It didn’t help that either one of them could look at him in the eyes right away. Why did Podrick always seem to look guilty to Jon?

 

Sansa bowed fast as she could as if it was her intention of not looking him in the eyes. “Good evening your grace.”

 

Podrick bowed lower than normal and unfortunate a little too slow. “Your Grace.” Sansa hoped that Jon wouldn’t notice his slightly red lips. But it was clear that is where Jon’s eyes went.

 

Jon and a few of his advisors had entered her room. She didn’t want them in her room. It was a lack of respect for her but before she could speak Jon did. “Squire Podrick you know it’s inappropriate for a lady to have a man in her quarter unsupervised.” _I have told you that I don’t like for Princess Sansa unsupervised and I **hate** it’s always with you._

 

Sansa tried her best not to show her embarrassment or her anger. “We were just about to leave. We were going to bring these old blankets to use for patch work for the tents. We haven’t been here long. We were about to leave when you all came into a ladies room without knocking.” None of it was a lie. They had just got here and were about to leave. But most of all she wanted them to feel ashamed for entering her room without her asking let alone knocking.

 

Jon asked in one of the iciest tones Sansa had ever heard “I wish to speak to the Princess alone. Leave us.” His advisors left quickly. Podrick left the room slowly. He didn’t want to leave Sansa but he knew he couldn’t disobey an order.

 

As soon as the door shut Sansa sighed and tried her best to look innocent. “Jon you didn’t need to send a search party I was just heading to my room to get a few things.”

 

“I know, I went to the sewing room to see you and they said you left quite some time ago.”

 

_Dam those women_. “Yes, we left some time ago.” _I can’t lie to him but I don’t have to tell the whole truth or enough of the truth at least._ “I asked Podrick to walk slower than normal. I have been in that room almost all day.” _I wanted to be with you and those advisors who rudely entered my room but you asked me to be with the ladies working on tents and banners for the journey tomorrow._

_You asked me in front of them and I couldn’t flat out say no. Not what happened shortly after taking back Winterfell. I have been with the ladies the last 5 days working on tents, banners, clothing and tending to the glass garden while you have been talking to your advisors._ “I needed to get out of there.” _I didn’t want to say get away from those women. Or that I needed to see Podrick before he left_.

 

“Why did you need to? They are **our** people. You are their queen.”

 

“No, I am their princess. Whom you marry will be their queen.”

 

_All of this because I rejected your marriage offer a week ago you have been acting like this?_ “Is that why you are mad? Because you are their princess and not their queen?” _NO that came out wrong_. “Sansa, I” It was too late. I could see the expression on her face.

 

That shouldn’t have hurt. That was not the reason why I needed to get away from them but for Jon to think so lowly of me hurts. “It’s not because I am not their queen.” _But I can’t lie when you flat out rejecting me still hurt my pride. You could have been least be in shock for a few minutes. Do you know how much courage it took knowing I was going to be rejected_.

 

“It started to feel like I was back at the Redkeep.” I _could feel my tears starting to swell. I didn’t want to say why it felt that way and it looked like Jon didn’t want to ask._ “They couldn’t have known the way they were acting and talking would have made me feel that way and I couldn’t say why. When Podrick came to the door it was my chance to leave for a little while. When I said told him was feeling like I was back there.” _I didn’t tell Podrick that but I was truly feeling that way and when I heard his voice I jumped at the chance to leave them and see him._ “I asked him to walk slow. It was not his fault for us coming back late it was my request.”

 

_Jon hated it that it was always Podrick by her side when she wanted some peace and quiet. When she wanted to think it was Podrick by her side. When she talks about her past it’s only to Podrick and not him. It has been that way since Castle Black. No, it was before that. He is glad he was leaving Winterfell with Lady Brienne._ “Still it’s **inappropriate** for him to be alone with you in your room.”

 

“Jon it was not inappropriate. Like I said we were here for only a few seconds before you came into my room without knocking.” _And what we did before entering my room was inappropriate._ She tuned to the fireplace because she knew she was blushing. “And I am safe in Winterfell. You have seen to that.” That was not a complete lie. _It’s just you are not the only reason why I feel safe._ She could feel her smile growing. She knew the fire glow would help hide some of the red in her face so she turned back to him with one of the biggest smiles on her face. “This is the safest I have felt in a long time.”

 

How could anyone be angry with that angel smiling? Part of me aches at the thought of her being so close yet so untouchable. No, she is not untouchable. “I am sorry we didn’t knock. I was worried about you.” He walked closer to her. _You are the source of my joy, the center of my world and the whole of my heart._ He slowly placed his hand on her head before slowly moving down to her neck. “I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you.”

 

She knew he was worried about her and all of the other young ladies. Which is why you put two guards outside of the room. “I understand why you would worry Jon. And as long as I am with you I know you will keep me safe. Which is why I might be a little careless at times because I know I’m safe here. I’m sorry and I will be more careful.” Not to mention that Podrick will be gone and no man will enter my room beside you.

 

After hearing that she feels safe with him he had to kiss her. He leaned forward to kiss her; she closed her eyes while she lowered her head. She didn’t want a kiss on the lips but on the forehead. He wanted to kiss her on the lips but he settled to kiss the forehead for now. She let out the sweetest sigh as he placed his lips on her perfect porcelain skin. He stayed there longer than he should, longer than a brother should with his sister. Even when he removed his lips from his angel his hand lingered on her beautiful swan neck.

 

She opened her eyes to his Stark gray eyes, the kind of gray just shows up after a storm. She could only imagine what kind of storm was brewing inside of him. “I am sorry for all the trouble I have caused.”

 

“You are no trouble.” He knows he should move his hand but his body won’t listen. “It is my job to keep you safe.” He wanted to taste that milky white skin on his lips again.

 

“Thank you, Jon. Can I ask you something?”

 

Her eyes were stunning. Yes, you could say they were blue but that would be an understatement. Her eyes were the perfect sky blue. No, her eyes were the color of a calm sea and her hair was a bright sunset. What could he possibly refuse her? “Ask.”

 

“Please don’t ask Podrick what happened before we got here.” He immediately released his hand from her. “If you ask him what happened before we entered my room he will only have two choices. The first choice is he will betray my confidence and tell you. Or the second choice is he will keep my confidence but he will be defining you.”

 

His eyes were no longer the calm gray but the kind of gray that shows in the ash of the dying fire. Then he bellowed “Podrick, come back into the room.”

 

Podrick looked like a dead man walking passing the advisors. “Jon I asked you not”

 

“I didn’t agree to your request.”

 

Sansa felt like she was sinking into the ground. There is no way he would have left Podrick go if he knew what they did. But there is no way that Podrick will tell. He will disobey Jon. What will Jon do to him? “Jon, do not ask him.”

 

“What happened between you and Princess Sansa before entering her room?” The room went quiet. It felt like eons before Jon spoke again. “I asked you a question.”

 

“Jon pleases.” She could see the concern in Podrick eyes. “You don’t need to answer Po-”

 

Podrick smiled but it didn’t hide the concern. Lying to the King is a crime. Some men have died because of a lie. He stood up as straight as he could and answered in a low regretful tone “Your grace, I am sorry but cannot say.”

 

“I see. You have chosen to keep Sansa confidence.” There was a sigh from both Sansa and Podrick. “ But if you disobey me again you will be punished. Leave us.” Podrick leaves the room quietly and quickly. Jon watched him leave the room before turning back to Sansa. All the blood had drained from her face; she was on the verge of tears.

 

“Don’t ever do that again Jon.” He took one step to her and she leaped back.

 

Jon knew he had over stepped but he didn’t think Sansa would have such a reaction. “I am sorry Sansa. I needed to see how f”

 

“He has helped however he could since Kingslanding. He has proven himself that he is willing to die protecting me. I trust him with my life.” She was right. Podrick has fought to be by her side and never broke her confidence in him. It was childish of him but he need to see how far he would go for her. No, he needed to see it. “You should bring the blankets to the ladies. I think I should retire early this evening.” I need to be alone for a while.

 

“I think that would be best. I will also best for squire Payne retires early for tomorrow.”

 

After Jon left she sat on her bed and just let everything that happen soak in. He wanted to test Podrick loyalty but that shook her to the core. If that was any other King Podrick would have been killed as a display of power. What was Jon thinking? What was Podrick thinking? No Podrick is leaving tomorrow. There is slim chance that she will have some alone time with him but maybe if she writes him a letter when they leave she can slip it to him. She heads to her desk and seizes a parchment.

 

She could feel each drop falling from her eyes as she clutched the parchment. Writing this letter meant that he was leaving. She had just noticed him and fallen in love just like Jonquil did with Florian. No, Podrick was not even a knight and she was a princess not just a high born lady. Perhaps he will be Podrick the Powerful and I will be Sansa the Sweet. No, Podrick the Patient and Sansa the Spectacular. Maybe it will be Podrick the Passionate and Sansa the Seductive .No, knowing history we will be Sansa the Selfish and Podrick the Phony. I don’t care as long as we have a love story, history can say anything it likes.

 

_My Dearest Podrick,_

  
_When we first met, regrettably I couldn’t see how special you were. Occasionally it takes a long time to realize how special someone is who is right in front of you. I am only now seeing just how strong, gentle and compassionate of a man you truly are. And now you must leave my side. I feel that my heart will know a new kind of loneliness soon. The only that might help me during our time apart is remembering the time we spent together and remembering all the reasons why I love you._

 

_There are countless reasons why I love you. If I was to count them I would need a book for I am learning more reasons every day. But I will name my favorite ones in this letter. It is never easy to love someone who is miles away from you. But not matter the distance you never stopped caring about me or loving me. You saw me for me when others only saw a beaten stupid little girl. When I was allowed to grow to the woman I am today you saw me for me still and not the title that came with my name. You made me feel like I belong when no one else could. If I no longer wanted to be the Princess of Winterfell you would accept it and we would leave together. You are willing for forsake your house for me and in many ways you have. You are the prince I’ve dreamt of finding ever since I was a little girl._

 

_You collected the broken pieces of my heart and put it back together. When I look at you, I can only see a future filled with wonderful possibilities, happy days and deep true love. Every love story is beautiful, but I have a feeling that ours will be our children’s favorite. I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow. As long as we’re under the same moon, I’ll feel close to you. Be safe my love and hurry back to me._

_Eternity yours_   
_Sansa_

 

Sansa rereads the letter several times. She notices the candle is low it’s almost time for milk of the poppy. My body still aches after what those monsters did to me. I know he puts in essence of nightshade, but it only one drop. When Maesters Wolkan gave me enough that I would have dreamless nights it makes it much worst for me the next morning. It was like unless nightmare. I had no breaks from that monster. Even if I was with that monster Joffrey at least I got a break from that worst monster Ramsay.

I can still remember what I told Maester Addison “I want nothing to do with Maesters Wolkan and you will not put essence of nightshade in my milk of the poppy.”

There was a knock at the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK I know that Jon is a fan favorite but he is human. He makes mistakes. So there will be some of you who won’t like Jon this chapter. I am kind of using Book Jon when Book Stannis offers to legitimize Jon he really thinks long and hard about it. He almost takes the chance. In the end he stays with the Night Watch but he did let think about a life with Val and being Lord of Winterfell. Also it’s the Targaryen blood, those dame Stark girl haha.


	17. Stark Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 18 days after the Battle of the Bastards – Evening before leaving Winterfell  
> The dreams of Podrick, Jon and Sansa.

_When I went to sleep I should have been dreaming about the eyes that are as bright as sapphires that are framed with long thick lashes. The eyes that could pierce right through you and look into your soul with one look. The eyes that are calm and blue as the sky is before the storm, but they also could be as wild as the sea during a storm. Those were her eyes last night all because of another Stark’s eyes. Jon’s eyes were a cold gray; they showed no sense of kindness or compassion to me last night._

 

When I entered the room I knew Sansa had told him some reason why we took so long but when she said “Jon I asked you not” my stomach sank. _I knew that wouldn’t end well for me. Sansa was truly feared for my life. I had never seen her so scared not even in Kingslanding._

 

When Jon asked me “What happened between you and Princess Sansa before entering her room?” _I wanted to tell him I love your sister and I would die for her. That part of me belongs to her. Maybe that is the reason why every time she is not near me something seems to be missing, which I_ is _why I never gave up on looking for her. I still lose my breath every time I see her. She sets my heart on fire. But that would only cause her pain for you Jon, have put us in a difficult situation. Any of my choices could have cost me my life._

 

 _If I had told you the truth you would have killed me for I am not worthy of her in your eyes. No, I could never betray her. If she was not ready to tell you I wouldn’t have told you. I could have lied to you but you might have killed me or sent me to the wall never to see her again, which is a fate worst than death. If I said nothing I would have been disobeying you. You have killed me like that at the Wall, why would be here any different. No matter what we would have been parted_.

 

_I don’t remember what I said; I don’t remember being told to leave all I remember was Sansa was a white as a ghost being on the verge of tears. I wanted to defy him to say and comfort her but I was told to leave them alone. When I left the room I could see the look of contempt from all of the men outside of Sansa room but I could care less. Sansa saw me worthy of her. These men here don’t know what I have done to prove myself to her. They don’t know what I am willing to give up for her. Sansa and I will build a bright future for Winterfell. No Jon can have Winterfell we will go where ever she wants if she wants to leave._

 

 _Just before Jon came out of Sansa room one of the young knights who is younger than I, he informed us that the Karstark and Umber had just entered Winterfell._ Podrick wanted to see the kind of men who would align with those monsters. But one of the men from house Mazin placed his hand on his shoulder. He knew what Podrick was going to do, to some extent they wall wanted to do something.

 

“Princess Sansa has decided to retire early this evening. We will bring the blankets to the ladies in the sewing room for them to finish up the repairs for the journey tomorrow. Squire Payne you will retire early this evening for you have a long travel ahead of you.”

 

Podrick bowed “yes your grace” and left. He knew that if disobey him again it would cost him.

 

But once he entered his room he couldn’t sleep. He wanted to see Sansa again; he wanted to tell her how much she means to him and how he will return as fast as he can. He might not have enough time or anytime to see Sansa before he leaves. He decides to write her a letter saying his undying love for her and tell her everything. He knew if he left it by the weirwood tree she would be the only one to find it since she is the only one to use the weirwood tree these days. He was going to only two pages but turned into ten pages. There was so much he wants to say, how much she has changed me, all of the lies I had lived with so far and what it could mean for them. She would need some time to accept it all. He hoped she could forgive him for all of it when he returns.

 

As he finally fell to sleep he had the sweetest dream he was had in months. It was the replay of what happened with his future wife Sansa in that small room. Then he was outside and it was spring day it was full of promise, freshness, and newness to come. Then he saw that Sansa was pregnant with a mini version of her at her side. This was more than he could hope for.

 

The little Sansa ran up to him and hugged him. “Father, mother said I will be a big sister by the next moon.” He had to have been married to Sansa with two children what more can he want. A young man with the Tully looks was kissing her on the forehead and had a bright smile on his face. “Sister, I need to speak to your husband.”

 

Sansa smile was as bright as the sun “Ok, here kitten”

 

“Coming.” Her giggle was so sweet even the birds were silent. This was perfect. His perfect life with the perfect family.

 

Something was off when the young man walked to him. He felt that he should attack him but Sansa called him brother. “I think it would be best if we went for a walk.” Was he going to kill me? No, but he did want me to leave. After Sansa was out of sight he spoke with so much regret in his voice “One day you'll hate me.”

 

He had no reason to hate the young man; he had never seen him before. But there was something in him that knew it was the truth. His blood was boiling just looking at him. “Why?”

 

“You will hate me for many reasons but you will hate me the most because I’m not going to allow you to marry Sansa. This is not your future. I will do everything in my power to stop that.”

 

“Why? Don’t you want her to be happy?”

 

“I want all the happiness in the world for her. I will make sure she is safe.” In a second they were in a forest. “You will never see this future again.”

 

“Why would you do this? I love her. She loves me. I will keep her safe. I would have made her happy.” He took a step to him but he was sinking into the ground.

 

“Yes, I know you would have kept her safe. Yes, you both would have been happy but the world would suffer. She will lose so much before the long night ends. No, she will lose almost everything if she marries you. To be happy with you she would lose all other forms of happiness. Sansa will marry another. They will be happy maybe not as happy if she married you but shee will be happy. The world will prosper with this union and she won’t have to lose what little she has left, she won’t lose any more family. What happened last night will be your last happy memory together. That was my gift to you. Please stop”

 

Podrick was trying to dig himself out of the ground. “NO! I love her. I will wear the crown for her. I will take on the world for her. I am willing to die for her. I will not give up on us and I am not giving up on this future.”

 

“I know you won’t. But if you don’t stop I will stop you.”

 

Podrick awoke in a cold sweat. What did that man mean when he said “I will stop you?” What could he do? Who was he to Sansa? Who is that other man?

 

***************************

 

Jon knew he was dreaming it was a beautiful spring day. Winterfell was filled with children’s laughter. When his eyes went to the balcony he saw the most beautiful woman in the world. Her hair followed like a rich red wine. Her eyes were a steel blue-grey off set by her Stark gray dress. But as breathtaking as she was the dejected look on her face aged her by 10 years. Sansa was talking to a woman with pure white hair. Jon has never seen that woman before but he knew she was. She was the Dragon Queen. What was she doing in Winterfell? Why was she by Sansa? Why was Sansa’s inner light seemed to dim just standing next to her? Yes the Dragon Queen is attractive but she is nothing compared to Sansa even with gloomy look. So why dose Sansa look so small compared to the small Dragon Queen? She’s looking at Jon with nervous eyes. Her eyes were everything and nothing all at once. What was the Dragon Queen doing to Sansa?

She was the Dragon Queen. What was she doing in Winterfell? Why was she by Sansa? Why was Sansa’s inner light seemed to dim just standing next to her? Yes the Dragon Queen is attractive but she is nothing compared to Sansa even with gloomy look. So why dose Sansa look so small compared to the small Dragon Queen? She’s looking at Jon with nervous eyes. Her eyes were everything and nothing all at once. What was the Dragon Queen doing to Sansa?

 

As he was making his way to them a young man with black hair and gray eyes stopped him. “Father, what did you do to auntie this morning? My inner dragon was put to the test when I faced down with the she wolf of Winterfell.”

 

Auntie? Oh they clearly mean the wild she wolf. “Arya is here?”

 

Soon another young man with white hair and violet eyes stood in front of him. His eyes were a different color but they had the same pain he see every time he looks into a mirror. “Father, auntie Arya died shortly before we were born.” No she couldn’t be gone. Brienne said she was alive. How did she die? When did she die? Wait he said before they were born. Are they twins? “Are you ok father? Do I need to get a Maester?”

 

That only left. No can’t be. Sansa and I should be married. This is not the future I saw in my last dream. That dream felt so real. What could have changed? Wait did he say that he is a dragon. No. “I need to see my wife.”

 

The man white hair and violet eyes grabbed his arm. “Father you should wait until her and auntie Sansa are done talking.”

 

Jon stormed past the two young men. _This is not right; this is not the future I saw. This is not the future I want. Is that why Sansa looked so sad?_ Then a sweet voice cut thought him “Uncle? Is everything ok?” his stomach dropped suddenly. _The woman who asked him that was a copy of Sansa. Why was she calling me uncle? She should be calling me dad. Her mouth was moving but nothing was coming out. It was not until she had seized his arm did he hear her sweet voice again. S_ he is the exact copy of Sansa. “Uncle, have you seen my mother yet?” He shook his head. “You should go and see her. I know she has missed you terribly. It’s been so long since you last saw her.”

 

“I am on my way to see her.” He wanted to cry.

 

“Good. Now if you excuse me I am going to see your sons for they have been making assess of themselves in front of the ladies of House Mormont. They are bringing down the family name and need to be put in their place. Maybe you should name me your heir.”

 

 _I want you to be my child, not just my heir_. He wants to say something to the mini Sansa but nothing comes out or at least anything he could hear. _Her laughter was sweet and soft, like the sound of ringing bells._ “Don’t worry uncle, my sisters wolfs and I won’t be too hard on the arrogant dragons.” She walks to the concerned young men who call me father.

 

 _How did this happen? Did I have to form an alliance with the Dragon queen to defeat the white walkers? What about Sansa? Who is that standing next to her? Is that Podrick? He needs to step away from her. He is not worthy of her._ A Jon reached the doors a young Robb was standing in front of him. He looks sad and says only one word “Sansa.” He wanted to say more but he couldn’t. Finally, when the young man spoke Jon couldn’t make it all out the rest before he woke up from this nightmare.

 

_Everything sinks in. He was not married to Sansa; he was married to the Dragon Queen. And it looked like she was married to Podrick with a daughter that looks just like her. No, she said sisters, they have many children together. Those should have been his daughters, not Podrick children. Robb was there. It looked like Robb was miserable when I was going to Sansa. Was he disappointed in me? Was he telling me to let her go? It had to be. I was no better than Jamie Lannister, lusting after his sister._

 

_I never thought it could be so hard to lose something I never really had._

 

***************************

 

Sansa didn’t remember all of her dream. What she remembers is all unnatural. She saw her mother but she was gray and red. She saw Arya lying in the snow. She looked dead but she wasn’t, she was breathing she was holding a handkerchief then she was growling. Bran had three eyes but they were bleeding. As she took a step closer he became a wolf, then a bird and once he was in the air in the clouds there was a storm then thunder. Than snow was falling, a cold breeze came from the north with pale blue eyes. She fell down in the snow and she noticed she was in a white dress and skin becoming blue. She got up and tied to run away from the pale blue eyes but a sword plunged into her chest. She smelled a sweet bouquet before she falls to the ground. As things stared to become dark she saw gray eyes, blue eyes, brown eyes and violet eyes they were all crying. Did she die? Who were they?

Then the snow was falling, a cold breeze came from the north with pale blue eyes. She fell down in the snow and she noticed she was in a white dress and skin becoming blue. She got up and tried to run away from the pale blue eyes but a sword plunged into her chest. She smelled a sweet bouquet before she falls to the ground. As things started to become dark she saw gray eyes, blue eyes, brown eyes and violet eyes they were all crying. Did she die? Who were they? Then a voice cut thought the darkness. “Please live.”

 

As she woke up she knew her heart should be beating like a hummingbird but it took some time to find her heartbeat. She should be feeling some concern about what she saw in her dream but she felt at peace. What did it all mean? Who was the talking to her? But after a few moments siting up in the bed her mind became clear. She couldn’t explain it. That was not her future. She will live

 

I need to get ready for the day. I need to see Jon. No, I need to see Podrick. He is leaving today. Why did I think about Jon first? I should wear the dress I wear to the battle for Winterfell. Remind all of our bannerman that we won the battle with astonishing odds.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it has taken soo long I have been working on chapter 17 to 22 all at the same time. I was doing a lot of lore and theories for a few chapters and I wanted to foreshadow some things in a few chapters before so it took longer than I wanted. Then I wanted to use events in the book which I forget what exactly happens (or chapter) so I had to reread the books…. Which I got in engrossed into…. When I started to watch the show again I got more engrossed…. But good news I almost done with chapters 19 to 22, bad news I have created a tumbrl account


	18. Not my future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 19 days after the Battle of the Bastards – Meeting before leaving Winterfell  
> Podrick POV before the meeting  
> Jon and Sansa POV during the meeting.

Podrick got ready fast. He wanted to spend as much time with Sansa before he left. _Whoever that man was in in dream was wrong. Sansa and I will be married and will have two children. But before that happens I need to tell Sansa everything._ He grabs the letter and makes his way to his future. The sun is not over the hills yet but what little light there was illuminated the freshly fallen snow. It was breath taking. A cold breeze came from the north and moved the snow like sand. He closed his eyes and he could taste the salty air just thinking about the time he was home. It feels like a lifetime ago. Not it was a life time ago simply because it was a different life. He was not the same person when he was at the sandy beach breathing in the salty sea air. How he wishes for the warmth of the sun and not the cold now. But he would be away from the warmth of his new sun, Sansa. If she was by his side he could weather out the longest winter there ever has been.

 

If he had his way they would leave the north and live in the warm south. To not be burdened by titles, family history, duty or others’ opinions just live their lives. But he knows that will never happen, Sansa is a winter rose and she wilted in the south. She needs to stay in the North to truly blossom. She is also a Tully, her mother’s house words are Family, Duty, Honor. She will not abandon Jon. She will stand by his side for she is the last of his family. She will not abandon Winterfell for Jon named her his heir. She will do her duty to make sure Winterfell thrive after the long night. And that Stark honor could be the death of her just like her father and brother but I will not allow it. On my honor, Sansa will live though all of this. Jon is a military man and can only rule truly during a time of war, Sansa can and will rule during a time of peace. He can’t explain how or why he knows, he just does. Jon will need her, the North will need her and after everything, she has been though she will rule justly.

 

As he was heading to Sansa room, Jon’s huge direwolf Ghost stood in his way. For the first time since he had seen Ghost was he truly frightened. He tried to side step to get around Ghost but the enormous wolf followed him never breaking eye contact.

 

“It looks like he wants to play with you.” Tormund slapped Podrick that nearly makes him fall to the ground.

 

“He looks like he wants to rip my throat out.”

 

“Or rip off your balls. He is a wolf that is how they play.” He slaps Podrick but this time he falls to the ground. As Podrick sits up making sure his back was not facing Ghost. “Or maybe he is following his master’s orders.” Podrick had an uneasiness in his stomach. He knows how I looked at Sansa. Did he see anything they had done? No, Tormund was not the kind of man to hide behind words; he was a man of action. If he has seen anything he would have said something they moment he saw it.

 

“I have a question Tormund.” There was a mix of amusement and hostility in his eyes. “It’s about stealing.”

 

“You can only steal an unmarried woman or a widow. Sansa was stolen by Jon. Jon maybe died but she was stolen after he came back to life. She is married to him.”

 

“He didn’t seal her. She went to him. It was Brienne and me who found her going to the wall.”

 

“He killed her husband and it made her a widow.” Tormund let out a chuckle as it pleasant memory. “He took her from him.”

 

Did that mean if he killed Jon would Sansa be his? No, he couldn’t do that to her take away what little family she has left. But most of all she would hate him. “I thought the free folk was against siblings marrying.”

 

“And we don’t care as long as they don’t share the same mother.” So the wildling more matriarchal Podrick thought to himself. “Hell, we don’t know if they share the same father. He could have lied. They look nothing alike. They might not be brother and sister.”

 

“Ned Stark was one of the noblest men in the world. He wouldn’t lie. And Sansa looks like her mother side.” _She is the perfect bouquet of roses. White rose for her skin, red roses for her hair and lips, and lastly the rare Winterfell blue roses for her eyes. Her perfection would make any man struggle to even speak in her presence._

 

“Doesn’t matter, they don’t share the same mother. We could care less if they have the same father.”

 

Podrick didn’t know who was more terrifying the Ghost or Tormund. There was no one in the court yard. They could kill him and take him into the wood and no one would find him until spring unless Ghost or another animal got to him. “I need to get to the Godswood to pray before the journey.” He decided to take the long way to the Godswood. Since Ghost blocked the way. He needs to put the letter under the weirwood tree before he left Winterfell and he didn’t need an audience. He wonders if there will be any time before he leaves to see Sansa. But even if they do there won’t be enough time to tell her everything.

 

The bleak gray clouds overhead reflected his gloomy mood perfectly. Sansa is not there she must still be getting ready. With the Karstark and Umber coming last night there will be a meeting before the journey to the Twins. He kneeled before the weirwood. “I have never been a man of faith. Not after what happened with my family and especially after what has happened to Sansa. But maybe I should look at it as the Gods have to protect her from dying. They, I mean you have a plan for her. I pray that I can give her all the happiness she deserves. I love her and I swear to the Old Gods I will protect Sansa, however, I can. I will swear to any God or Gods that will keep my beloved Sansa safe.” _As he was kneeling before the_ weirwood _tree a sicken feelings over comes him. It was as if the_ weirwood _tree was judging him for his love for Sansa. Maybe they know the lies he has told. Maybe they know who he truly is. Maybe the Gods have a different plan for them._

 

Brienne was talking to Podrick. “There will be a meeting before we leave.”

 

***************************************

 

Jon wakes up to nothing. Sansa is not next to him. It is still winter and that dream felt too real. Sansa won’t marry him. He will marry the Dragon queen. He is the King of the North and she is a Queen. It made sense, to fight the dead we will need a bigger army. Sansa told him that they would need to marry soon. But that meant that one of them will have to leave if they don’t marry each other. In a blink of an eye, he was at Sansa’s door. His heart was pounding in his chest. But it stopped once he saw her. She was wearing the same wolf dress that she made just before the battle with Ramsey.

 

Ygritte was a woman barely any definition of a figure but Sansa has the shape of an hourglass. She was more beautiful then she was that day, he never though it was a possibility. When she first asked if I liked the dress that day after I stumbled all I could say “I like the wolf bit.” How could I say I was gazing at your chest and your hips? Then the angel that you gave me furs that matched our father. I never felt so honored and ashamed at the same time. Now I feel just shame looking at you with lust. Oh, those sweet pink lips will be the death of me. I am envies of people who can be open with their heart. She is right in front of me and I can’t say anything. I even know she considered to marry me and still nothing.

 

I have lay in bed the last few nights dreaming about the one that has awakened my desire. I never felt this way with Ygritte or Vale. When you’re gone, nothing feels right until you return. She said something. “What did you say, Sansa?”

 

“I said, will there be a meeting soon? With the Karstark and Umber coming in last night.”

 

“Yes, there will be a meeting before the men leave for the twins. Sansa ” Then a knock at the door.

 

A terrified voice came behind the door “King Jon. Your direwolf is not letting a few of the men pass to the great hall.”

 

Sansa laughed. “Did you forget to play with Ghost this morning?”

 

“Yes, I did.” He wondered what men were Ghost keeping out. It must have been the Umber and Karstarks. “I will see to him as you finish up. I will see you in the great hall, my princess.”

 

“Yes, my King.”

 

Jon loved it when she said **my** king and not your grace. 

 

***********************************

 

All these men stared in awe at her as she walked through the hall. Her snow white skin glowed in the hall as if she was the moon itself. Her eyes were as blue as the ocean, shimmering and crashing beneath her sunset hair. She is perfect, even a blind man could sense her beauty. I know that winter has started but looking at her I can feel the spring near.

 

“We need every Master to scour their records for any mention of dragonglass. Dragonglass kills white walkers it's more valuable to us now the gold we need to find it we need to mine it we need to weapons. Once we find it everyone from ages ten to sixty will train daily with speare, pikes, bow and arrow.”

 

Lord Glover was the first to speak “ it’s about time we taught these boys of summer how to fight.”

 

Jon straightened up. He knew the next part could be hard for some of the Lords to see. “Not just the boys. We can't defend the north if only half the population is fight.”

 

Sansa knew it would need to happy to survive the fight with the Night King and she had hoped the Norther Lords could see it. Lord Glover arose to challenge Jon choice. “You expect me to put a spear in my granddaughter's hand?”

 

Before anyone could answer the she-bear Lady Mormont arose to his challenge. “I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me. I'm might be small Lord Glover and I might be a girl but every bit as much a Northerner is you.”

 

Lord Glover could only respect Lady Mormont for her candidness now and for the first night, they crowned Jon as their King. “Indeed you are my Lady, no one is”

 

“And I don’t need your permission to defend the north. We’ll begin training every man, woman, boy and girl on bear island.” She was every bit of Maege Mormont; there was no chance of changing her conviction.

 

Jon was grateful for Lady Lyanna voice in the matter. “While we're preparing for attack we need to shore up our defenses the only thing standing between us and the dead is the Wall. The Wall hasn't been properly manned in centuries I'm not the king of the free folk but if we're going to survive this winter together.”

 

Tormund eyed out Podrick before standing. “Aye you want us to mind the castles for you.”

 

Jon look slightly confused “Aye the last time we saw the night King was at Hardhome. The closest castle to Hardhome is East Watch by the sea.”

 

“And that is where I will go. Looks like we are the Nights Watch now.” He loved the smug look on Glovers face. That old fool has been taken down by a little girl and now me.

 

This is going perfectly Jon thought to himself. “If they breach the Wall the first two castles in their path our Last Half and Karhold.”

 

Lord Yohn Royce of House Royce of Runestone stood up. “Karstark and Umber betrayed the north.” Jon had never thought a vassal house of the Vale would speak up about this. He thought for sure that it would have been Lord Robett Glover again. “Their castles should torn down we're not a stone left standing.”

 

Lucky my angel Sansa spoke before my temper got the best of me. “The castle committed no crimes and we need every fortress we have for the war to come. We should give the Last Half and Karhold to new families loyal who supported us against Ramsey.”

 

It took Jon a second to understand what she was saying. He needed another second to see that some of the men in the room were applauding her plan. “The Umbers and the Karstarks have fought beside the Starks for centuries they've kept faith for generation after generation.”

 

_Until this generation Jon, they helped killed our brother Robb at the red wedding. The Umbers gave Rickon to that monster Ramsey. How could you forget I told you at Castle Black that they could all rot and you said nothing back then what changed. I know that Lyanna Mormont had talked to you about this._ Jon _you know this is not right._ “Then they broke faith.”

 

“I'm not going to strip these families of their ancestral homes because of the crimes of a few reckless sons.”

 

Her blood boiled a few reckless son cost us our brothers Jon I say they were more than reckless. “There's no punishment for treason and no rewards for loyalty.” _Is that why you had me work on the banners and the tents the last week so I wouldn’t talk to you about their punishment or our options? Or did you have a punishment all planed out but that all change with you saw Lady Karstarks._

 

“The punishment for treason is death. SmallJon Umber died on the field of battle. Harold Karstark died on the field of battle.” _Sansa, you weren’t there in the mud seeing the men killing one another. They were punished. I will not hold their children for their actions._

 

“They died fighting for Ramsey.” _You didn’t see them talking to that monster for months. They had contact with their families. They knew what was going on. I never speak about what happened to me here during that time._ “Give the castles to the families of the men who died for you.” _They didn’t die fighting for me. They choose to fight for you and now we have chosen you as our leader the King of the North. Show their families that you value them. They will never get back their family members the least we can do is provide them with a future._

 

Jon looked around and saw how everyone who reacted to Sansa words. T _his was not right. We can’t fight a war amongst ourselves. A child should never be held accountable for their parent’s actions. I have lived that all my life. I will never do that to someone else._ “When I was Lord Commander of the Nights Watch I executed men who betrayed me. I executed men who refused to follow orders. My father always said the man who passes the sentence should swing the sword and I have tried to live by those words. But I will not punish a son for his father's sins and I will not take a family home away from a family it has belonged to for centuries. That is my decision and my decision is final.”

 

For a brief moment Jon looked like Joffrey when she was taken in fount of King Robert to testify of what she had seen happen with Nymeria and Arya. She froze for a second looking at him before looking away. _No, Jon is nothing like Joffrey. Jon was brave, gentle and strong._  She knew that she should have said something before the meeting but she thought that Jon would act the same as father. Fostering the young Ned Umber like they did with Theon after the Greyjoy rebellion until he became of age and proven himself to the Starks or at least help keep them in line. Alys Karstark was the heir and would have to marry soon. In the end it didn’t matter. She would take his name and he would be the Lord. At lest this way it would have shown the North, there are consequences to their actions.

 

Jon bellowed for them to come forward. “Ned Umber. Alys Karstark.”

 

Sansa could see just looking at Alys Karstark she was keeping a large secret. She has been in the game long enough to see there is a secret deep down that will affect us. In many ways, Sansa can see herself in Alys Karstark. If only Jon had spoken to her before all of this they could have worked it out. She only prays the secret won’t come back to them in a substantial way. Only time will tell. I don’t want to lose any more family because of the Karstarks.

 

“For the centuries our families have fought side-by-side on the battlefield. I ask you to pledge your loyalty once again to House Stark to serve as our bannermen and come to our aid whenever called upon.”

 

Sansa looked over to Lady Lyanna Mormont and there was a knowing look on her face. She knew something about Alys Karstark. She will have to speak to her later. At the very least ask her what she and Jon spoke about.

 

Both Ned Umber and Alys Karstark kneeled to Jon. “It’s done. Yesterday’s Wars don't matter anymore the North needs to band together all the living north. Ned and Alys will you now and always stand with house Stark?”

 

In unison Ned Umber and Alys Karstark spoke. “Now and Always.”

 

There is a large cheer as Sansa stood up and walked to the Godswoods with Brienne and Podrick following. They were quiet until they reached the Godswoods. Sansa sat before the pool still unfrozen even in winter.

 

“Lady Brienne, Podrick may I ask you both for your counsel.”

 

In unison Brienne and Podrick answered. “Of course my lady.”

 

“What would have been the best or a better course to take in that last situation given the fact he never asked for my opinion the weeks leading up to this meeting?”

 

Brienne was the first to speak “If I could be so bold my lady.”

 

Sansa smiled. She knew that Brienne would be the first to speak and she would tell her the truth. “Please, I need to hear guidance from another lady who has to make her own way in the world.”

 

Brienne took a deep breath before speaking. “Having an open disagreement such as that in fount of the noblemen could cause a division in the house my lady. But not discussing it before the meeting was not right too. You were both were wrong in your actions and if the north is to survive, you both need to work on commutation to become a united front for house Stark.”

 

Podrick smiles “But King Jon was wrong in the decision to pardon the Umber and the Karstark with talking to you and having an outlined plan.”

 

Sansa knew that Brienne didn’t want to say that she disagrees with Jon but her face gave it away. “Thank you, both for your frankness. I would like to ask another question. What would be your course of action?” There was silent no doubt thinking about how they would handle the situation. She loved that she could be so honest with them, well with Podrick mainly. “Part of me was thinking about the betrayal they had with my brother Robb and Rickon. Another part of me was looking at the remaining men who fought for House Stark against House Bloton. They had lost so much and no lands will be rewarded to them.”

 

_Maybe if I had told Jon about the Vale army not so many men would have died but Jon won’t listen at Stannis camp. There were not enough men to fight. I was not even sure if the Vale would even help us. I was not sure if they would have gotten there in time. She could have sent everyone to the grave telling them to wait with no proof they were coming._

 

Podrick “Lady Sansa. May I ask you a question?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the Free folk are more matriarchal. In the books when Osha talks about her family and where they come from they go through her mother, her mother’s mother and her mother’s mother’s mother. Chapter 4 Bran I in Game of Thrones book. 
> 
> I believe that Tormund is the little she-bear Lyanna Mormont and that Maege Mormont is his bear wife. I think I might add a chapter somehow soon.

**Author's Note:**

> I will be adding more tags as I upload new chapters. I hope you like it.


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